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CHAMPION—November 4, 2007

        The bad colds that have been going around the country have found their way into Champion.  It’s a drag.  People who have coughed so hard that their ribs are sore are now having to put up with friends and family trying to tickle their funny bones.  Never was there a more convivial or jolly place with a kinderhearted population, until now.  Compassion, which is the very foundation of the community, has given way to rude jest and to a ‘bump and grind band’ singing, “I want a bottle of NyQuil…badum badum badum (imagine some hard driving base and drums here.)…..for that restful sleep my Body needs……….ba daba da bump….an anal-gsic  de-congest-tant……with an anti-hist-amine!  ba daba da dum pa dum bump.”  It’s the kind of tune that brings to mind smoky rooms and general bad behavior.  There are no such places in Champion and the music, while beguiling and full of good message, is unseemly.

        He has been having a hard time since Friday and everybody who wants him to feel much better about everything can bake him a chocolate cake.  This is a good receipt for  A Very Chocolate Cake.  Grease with butter a 13”x 9’ pan or two smaller pans.  Combine and beat well the following ingredients:  2 cups sugar, 1 cup oil, 2 eggs, 1 cup strong coffee, 1 cup milk (scant), 2 cups flour (rounded) 1 teaspoon vanilla, 2 teaspoons baking soda, 1 teaspoon baking powder, a pinch of salt and 1 cup cocoa.  The batter will be thin.  Bake at 350 degrees for 30 to 35 minutes.  Test it with a toothpick and don’t over bake it.  Cool the cake completely before frosting.  This fudge frosting is just wonderful.  For an 8” x 8” cake…double the batch for a 13” by 9” cake.  Do not make more than a double batch.  A quarter of a cup of butter, 1 cup sugar, 2 tablespoons cocoa (or more) a quarter of a cup milk, 1 teaspoon vanilla (Optional:  Cayenne to taste—starting with ½ teaspoon.)  Put all but the vanilla in a heavy pan.  Stir constantly, bringing to a boil over medium heat.  Continue to cook for 1 minute.  Remove from heat.  Stir in vanilla.  Beat until cool and thick enough to spread.  If too thick, warm it.  This makes a wonderful cake.  Wayne is a wonderful Grandpa……Happy Birthday!

        There is a Champion who is worried about the bees.  He says that there are many fewer bees these days and that if they continue to decline in population we will all have some trouble.  He’s thinking about the squash, peppers, tomatoes, okra, and broccoli.  He is also worried about the apples, peaches, pears and plums and the whole thing about pollination.  As it turns out, bees are a very self sacrificing species.  If one of them gets seriously sick she leaves the hive and doesn’t come back, so as not to contaminate her family.  The Champion has heard that there is a virus among bees that is kind of like the HIV virus in people, that is not so bad in itself, but is a factor that lowers immunity.  Any little old bad cold or other issue can attack an organism with a compromised immune system with serious effect.  So, many bees are getting sick and going elsewhere to die.  Even more scary is that this virus effecting the bees is kind of like Alzheimer’s disease in people in that it causes the bees to forget where home is.  So even the healthy bees go off to get nectar for honey and forget how to get home.  That is a very unusual situation for bees.  Honey is life for the bee hive and certainly a staple among people, but the real threat, as this Champion tells it, is that most all crops that supply food for people are dependant upon bees for pollination and thus food production.  Champions love the past, but they know they can’t live there.  Somebody watching Dr. Oz on the Oprah show the other day learned that if a person licks his lips and then inhales slowly, he can reduce his stress level significantly.  Champions are lucky to have day time TV.

        Eulalia Jasmin is becoming a regular contributor to the Champion Items.  She dropped a note indicating that she was pleased to see pictures of the dance contest winners of the Douglas County Sesquicentennial Celebration Grand Ball in the paper, but she is still dissatisfied at not getting a view of the dancers actually sailing around the floor and is wanting some description of the music and the flowers and the refreshments.  Ms. Jasmin says, “I’ll just get over it.”  She also is aware that many participants in the celebration are still awaiting some kind of acknowledgement from the Ava Chamber of Commerce.  Ah yes!  They were very solicitous beforehand, but now that it is over, a simple “Thank you” does not seem forthcoming.  Well, all those demonstrators, marchers, and other participants just need to keep in mind that it took 150 years to make this celebration happen to begin with and if the organizers have not yet seen the need for expressing their gratitude for the generous participation of the populace, perhaps they will before the bicentennial.  “Get over it,”  she says.

        Another welcome correspondent to the Champion Items is Darrell Haden who wrote to express his pleasure with the excerpting from the Cobbler book.  He also took time to clarify the identification of Cobbler witness Howard Bailey’s grandfather.  “ He was Dr. Daniel T. Bailey, pioneer physician practicing at Rome early last century in Douglas County’s Campbell Township.”  He said, “I may have confused the viniculturist for the physician because Daniel was the given name of each and both men lived in or near Rome.”  He also referred to another item about the late Everett and Amanda Porter’s granddaughter Nola Jean Schuenemann.  Both Nola Jean and Sybil play piano well.  Of course, it was Sybil with her brother, former Champion teacher Arthur, who with their father Everett were famous in gospel music circles for their all but patented rendition of “Old Daniel Prayed.”  It was their version of the song that could cause the hair on the listener’s neck to stand up and cheer!”

        All Champions are urged to refer to page B-Two of the November 1^st, 2007 issue of the Herald, just to the left of the Headless Cobbler of Smallett Cave excerpt to see the wonderful photograph of Sybil Porter Gheer and her daughter Noaljean Moyer.  This is a picture of delight!  It could be used as a definition of delight in a dictionary…Beautiful Champions!

        There are 127,000 troops serving in Iraq currently and 33,000 serving in Afghanistan….They are Champions every one.  Love and Gratitude to them and to their families from Champion Missourians.  “Good luck.”

        A nice note came from Betty Thomas over at the Edge of the World at Yates.  She responded to an inquiry about horse riding and said, “We don’t have horses, just wagons.  Isn’t that funny?”  Talking about Bud Hutchison’s trail ride last week she said, “We rode with some friends (car tire wheels) last year.  It was so much fun.”

        Stress relievers, ideas about bees, pictures of delight, beguiling things and things so much fun can be sent to Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367 Norwood, MO 65717.  Email any good chocolate cake receipts to Champion News.  There is probably NyQuil for sale at Henson’s store on the Sunny Side of the Street in downtown Champion where the motto is “Looking on the Bright Side!”

CHAMPION—October 29, 2007

        From Champion to Champion Bud Hutchison’s trail ride was a delightful trip on Saturday the 27^th.  It took seventeen stock trailers to get all the horses to Champion together with two buggies and a wagon.  From there they wound through the back country to Drury for lunch and then made their way back to their beginnings.  There were no bee stings, no thrown riders, no problems of any sort, just a beautiful amble through the colorful countryside.

        Harley Krider is now old enough to be eligible for what was once informally called the “Old Age Pension.”  Younger people around Champion hold him in high esteem and look forward to the opportunity to congratulate him on his milestone birthday when he can manage the trip home to Champion again.

        Dakota Watts, visiting from Tennessee, has harvested his first deer.  He went out with his Uncle Leslie Krider on Saturday morning and brought down a beautiful eight point buck.  He and his brother, Dillon, and parents Linda and Marty were in Champion with Marty’s dad, Steve Watts, for a gospel meeting at the little church in Champion over the week end.  Family and friends gathered from places far and wide.  Champion is always a much improved place when Esther and Raymond Howard are around. They were down from Marshfield on Friday and there is talk of another squirrel hunt one of these days.  Madelyn Ward and her cousin Foster Wiseman cut some lively capers together Saturday.  They are growing fast and are too busy to bother with little Kalyssa just yet.  Kalyssa looks like her Champion Grandmother some say– just beautiful.  Grandparents must be the happiest people around with their benevolent and indulgent smiles.  It’s sweet to see.

        Champion’s pumpkin saw its first frost Monday morning.  The Little Green Bean House is wilting now after a long season of providing tasty green beans, lovely flowers and happy memories for numerous children.  The seasons change and this time of year Champions are reminded of the Brevity of Life.  That is to be the theme of the Halloween Masquerade Parade organized by the Champion Parade Committee.  “Brevity” is the key word and foreigners and gawkers from over at Spotted Hog and Ava will have to look fast to see the procession of Pumpkin Floats, The Headless Cobbler impersonators flying in from Smallett for the occasion, and all the Wild and Wooly Boogers of Booger County.  The Grand Marshall of the parade will henceforth be known as the “Great Booger” and will be chosen by the Committee as the Parade passes before the reviewing stand.  Free Pumpkin Ice Cream is to be furnished by Robert Upshaw who is trying to curry favor with the Committee hoping for an appointment to it.  That hardly seems likely since he is not ‘local’ but a resident of the Fashionable Champion Suburb known as “Vanzant.”  His close ties to the Champion community ( a sister and niece who prefer not to be identified) and the quality and quantity of his frozen confection might purchase a special dispensation.  CPC members are adamant, however, in stating that membership is not for sale, so in parlance familiar to the supplicant:  “it’s a crap shoot.”  The parade will have come and gone before Spotted Hoggers can get their mascot off the trailer and harnessed up for the Great Pumpkin Pull.  They will be sorry to have missed it.  Alas!

         Champion’s  reputation as a bustling berg has been proven out this week in a big way.  Its proximity to the center of the county must account for the mail.  Eulalia Jasmin writes again (with no return address) to say that she had seen the report in the Herald that the Sesquicentennial Celebration had ‘exceeded all expectations.’  She said, “Appreciation has been expressed to Mark Farbin for the Grand Ball Photos, but there were no Grand Ball Photos!”  She went on to inquire if this Mark Farbin was related to Jean Farbin of Jean’s Healthway in Ava.  She said that it had been her first time to pass through Ava and that she had found this store on the square to be ‘altogether charming’ and the people there ‘knowledgeable.’  She had a number of complimentary things to say but expressed an overriding disappointment at not seeing pictures of the dance.  Perhaps they will appear in future issues of the Herald and perhaps Ms. Jasmin will direct her editorial comments directly to the Herald in the future.  Still, her interest in Champion and her colorful remarks are certainly welcome.

         So far this year 836 US Service People have lost their lives in Iraq.  That brings the total to 3,839.  The estimated number of wounded for this year is 5,411 and the official total number of wounded since the beginning of the conflict is 28,171.  Of course, there are many more wounds not reported by the soldiers and many wounds to the hearts of those next of kin and other survivors waiting at home.  To all of those people Champions extend their Love and Gratitude for their service and for their sacrifices.  In an article in the SouthEast Missourian in Cape Girardeau, Bridget DiCosmo reported that when Iraq veteran Robert Wake returned home in Malden, Mo, he found himself homeless.  “I came home to absolutely nothing,” Wake testified at a hearing Tuesday (October 23, 2007) before the Missouri House Interim Committee on Veterans Services.  He returned to Malden after having spent a year in General Leonard Wood Army Community Hospital receiving treatment for injuries sustained in the war.  He went on to say that “It is so important that we look at soldiers that are coming home and their families because families are so important to the healing process.”  The committee, appointed last month by House Speaker Rod Jetton, is holding the hearings to give Missourians the opportunity to voice their concerns whether the state’s veterans receive the support they need and deserve.  Champion’s soldier (SSG Moreno, Raul 4-319^th / TF SABER/ FOB NARAY / APO AE 09354) is serving in Afghanistan.  No community in the Country is exempt from concern for those who serve.

         A Champion reported having heard the Dalai Lama speak on Saturday up in Indiana on the subject of Cultivating Happiness.  “My main commitment is the concept of a happy life,” he said. “Much depends on having peace of mind.”  He seems to have the same kind of positive attitude and sense of humor that was the hallmark of Ed Henson.  It would be interesting to learn if he is also a prankster.  Imagine Louise getting her Christmas morning phone call, “Good morning!  Is your refrigerator running?  Well, You better catch it!”

         Tales of beautiful ambles, impending squirrel hunts, things to cultivate, and things benevolent or indulgent are welcome at Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367, Norwood, MO 65717.  Email Pumpkin Ice Cream Receipts, pictures of the Champion Halloween Masquerade Parade, (especially of the Great Booger), or pictures of the Sesquicentennial Grand Ball to Champion News.  Colorful remarks may be made at Henson’s Store in colorful Downtown Champion which is just a little to the right of the exact center of Douglas County (please no politics!) where the byword is Champion!—Looking on the Bright Side!