DreamWorks

CHAMPION—June 1, 2008

        Good neighbors are to Champion what strawberries are to shortcake—just some of the very best part!  Wes and Pat Smith came over and plowed Louise and Wilburn Hutchison’s garden for them and a few days later Sharon and Farel Sikes came over and plowed it again.  Meanwhile Joe Moskaly came and cut the weeds out of the fencerow and people are calling and stopping by just to see what they can do.  What a pleasure to live in such a berg!  Wilburn is feeling better and Louise is perking along with her regular pleasant and graceful proficiency.

        Champions are sprucing up, fluffing up, shinning up and generally spiffing up for company.  With the price of scrap metal going through the ceiling these days one noticed that a lot of old horse drawn history is being hauled off, but also that it is still nice to see things getting kind of cleaned up a little bit.  Some people don’t ever have to clean up for company because they live clean and orderly lives.  Young Dusty Mike’s Mom wouldn’t leave a dirty dish in the sink over night for anything!  Other Champions are not so fastidious.  They say that it is not hypocritical or putting on of airs to present guest with a cleaner circumstance than they would regularly enjoy themselves, but that it is a polite gesture that reflects respect for honored guests.  In any event, there are big and fancy doings afoot and Champion will delight in a hosting people from near and far who will come for joyful, sweet and romantic nuptial reasons.  Other people like Sophia and Penelope will come all the way from Texas just to play in the dirt and have fun with the Old Folks–also sweet.

        A bad tooth can have a profound effect on a person’s overall health.  The BBC says that five billion people worldwide suffer from tooth decay.  Sometimes a person will endure a toothache as a way to acquire understanding of another’s pain or as a way to keep perspective in the presence of a difficult houseguest.  When at last the persistent discomfort is gone, the relief can be glorious.  Medicines can be pretty tricky though, as an old Champion woman discovered recently.  A person needs to read all that paperwork that comes with those prescriptions and pay heed.  Those pharmaceutical companies aren’t just writing that stuff to use ink.  A swig of the over-the-counter cough medicine on top of a painkiller can put a person to sleep for a couple of days.  In the big world outside they call that “overdose,” or “OD.”  It may be that the old girl was just looking for a little rest.  It was a perilous enough situation to give her serious pause.  Old friend Foxfire Jack Ryan recommended the book, Worst Pills Best Pills, The Older Adults Guide to Avoiding Drug Induced Death or Illness.  Public Citizen Health Research Group published it in1988.  Uncle Al, The Lonesome Plowboy, liked to tell the story about how Eleanor Roosevelt was accosted by a rude drunk who told her that she was ugly.  “Sir, you are drunk!” said Ms. R., to which the fellow replied, “Yes Mam, but I’ll be over it in the morning!”  This anecdote has also been attributed to Winston Churchill (not concerning Mrs. Roosevelt, however) and is only used here as an example of being able to get over things or not.  Getting over a toothache often requires a dentist and all are grateful that they are no longer in the barbering trade and ‘bouncing’ teeth as a sideline.

        Another posthumous Medal of Honor has been awarded.  This time to a 19-year-old young man who threw himself on a grenade to save his four fellow soldiers.  He was doing what his Nation has asked of him and he did it willingly with pride.  He has Love and Gratitude coming to him and all his bereft survivors.  The death toll in Iraq now of just U.S. Service Personnel is 4086.

        Esther Wrinkles has already put up enough gooseberries from her last year’s birthday gooseberry bushes to make a pie!  Lucky with be the guest who gets to share that treat!  Louise says that the wild gooseberries on her place are really going to bear well.  Faye hasn’t found too many yet.  Maybe they will get together.  Linda’s Almanac from over at The Plant Place in Norwood says that transplanting will be very good from the 3^rd through the 9^th and that the 6^th and 7^th will be excellent days to plant crops that bear their yield above the ground.  Gardens are really looking good around Champion, though it has been too wet to work the ground much in some spots.  The First Ripe Tomato in Champion Contest may have some hot contention this year.

        “That’s alright, Dad.  Everybody makes a mistake sometimes.”  So said Foster to his Dad when he apologized for having used a harsh word in a tense traffic situation the other day.  The sentiment has broad application when it comes to getting a tractor stuck in a mud hole or not having a jack in a truck with a flat tire.  Champions are generally a forgiving lot, but they have very good memories.  “All water under the bridge,” one Champion descendant calls the old days.  She sent pictures of long time residents of the area known as “Riley Holler.”  As new people move into the community and work to make a place their own, they are just like the people who did the same thing before them.  Everyone works to put his stamp on the land, but the land endures while people come and go.  There is much to be learned from the past.  A person might do well to turn the TV off every now and again and go hunt up an old timer.

        Barbara Krider and her lovely granddaughters, Elizabeth and Alexandria, will be sashaying into the neighborhood early next week to help the young Champion couple celebrate their connubial commitment.  When Bert, the cab driver, and Ernie, the cop, harmonized in the rain when George Bailey married Mary Hatch, their song was I Love You Truly.  Whatever the song, hearts will be light.  Singing releases those endorphins that help the immune system fight disease and depression.

        Describe some fun with Old Folks at Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367, Norwood, MO 65717.  Applicable antidotes can be e-mailed to Champion News.  Release some endorphins on the porch at Henson’s Store with some songs like By the Light of the Silvery Moon, Get Me To The Church On Time, or Oh Promise Me.  New beginnings, romance and optimism are all the Vogue as Champions are always looking on the bright side!

CHAMPION—May 26, 2008

        The Memorial Day Celebrations in Champion were just right.  Though the holiday that used to be called ‘Decoration Day’ was originated to decorate the graves of the Civil War dead, it has become an occasion for people to gather for the best of all possible reasons:  Love and Gratitude.  Families and friends joined for the pleasure of each other’s company and to commemorate the lives of special ones who have passed on.  Champions also remember those currently serving The Nation in all the dangerous places in the world.  They have families at home waiting for their safe return.  One family was all together for the first time in 27 years.  Three of the children live in Illinois, one lives over near Vanzant and the fifth in Texas.  The circumstance of their Mother’s birthday drew them together and there was much joy in Muddville.

        The reunion celebration at Denow was going pretty well, they say, until someone started playing a sad song.  “Hear that lonesome whippoorwill.  He sounds too blue to fly…”  Well, the waterworks really broke loose.  The General, unable to contain himself, sobbed uncontrollably and would not be comforted.  It liked to have spoiled the whole affair.  But for the delicious food and the auction, and the drawings, and the music and the fellowship it could have been disastrous.  The meeting was well attended, though the attendance was not recorded this year.  An issue with the engraver also has put the dedication of the Civil War Memorial on hold for the time being.  Those things will be resolved, however, and in future years descendants of those soldiers will be able to read their names and get that feeling of continuity that makes people proud of their heritage.

        Linda’s Almanac from over at the Plant Place in Norwood indicates that the last few days of May will be ‘barren’ days, but starting on June 1^st planting will be good.  The first and second will still be good for root crops and then the third will be excellent for above the ground crops again.  A long time Champion, granddaughter of I.T. and Hattie Henson, says, “We get a year like this about once in every twenty years.”  With the cost of food and fuel on the rise, some Champions are foregoing most of the ornamental beauties this season in order to cultivate the edible delights.  Beet greens and spinach are very pretty, as are pea blossoms and blooming tomato plants.  It is all perspective.  After the nice rains the weeds almost jump out of the ground.  They just need a little encouragement.

        A little city girl visiting with Grandparents in Champion had a chance for her first ride in the back of a pick-up truck.  It was exciting.  She and her little sister swam at the Mill Pond until their lips turned blue and their teeth chattered.  Her name is Zoey Louise and she met Louise Hutchison with whom she shares a birthday.  She had her picture taken among Louise’s beautiful roses and met Mr. Hutchison who was sitting on the front porch.  His friends and neighbors are glad to know he is feeling better.  Zoey Louise had some Cheetos and purple grape juice down at Henson’s Store and sat down for a nice visit with Mrs. Henson.  Then a friend named Geof gave her some delicious strawberries at the house of the Daughter of Grace.  She was a big help in her Grandmother’s garden and she learned how to pick spinach and leaf lettuce without pulling up the whole plant and how to wash the leaves by dipping them out of a bowl of cold water.  She found two caterpillars on leaves that she later ate herself and decided that she is a real leaf eater now.  She asked, “Grannie, are you going to miss me and be so terribly, terribly sad when I am gone?”  Her grandmother replied that she would indeed miss her, but that she would not spend any time at all being sad.

        There was a photo shoot at Beverly’s Beauty Shop next door to Plumber’s Junction on Tuesday morning, May 20^th, to get some exposure for the beautiful Rose Star Quilt.  It’s a queen sized quilt, hand pieced one winter by Esther Wrinkles and beautifully machine quilted by Ms. Faye Chaney, who has since passed away.  Tickets are being sold in South Carolina, Texas, Tennessee and Kansas.  Support for the Skyline Area Volunteer Fire Department is really strong in Champion and the surrounding areas because this Volunteer Fire Department is great.  The men train regularly and are certified for all kinds of hazardous duties.  They are competent and selfless in their service to the community.  They are part of what makes the Champion and Skyline communities especially lovely places to live.

        An E-mail came from “a misplaced Ozark County Hillbilly” who lives in Nashville Tennessee these days.  He says, “Hello way up in Champion!…I read your Items every week and a week or two back you said you went to school at Silver Shade School.  That would make you a Tetrick, Bell, Berry or Hall.  I was wondering if you would give your name and who your parents were.  You can ask Eva Powell who I am.  Thanks & hope to hear from you, Bill Pool.”  Ms. Powell said, “He’s my Mama’s baby sister’s boy.  She was my Aunt Esther Pool.”  She seemed very pleased to have heard from him.  The article to which Mr. Pool refers came from the April 30^th column when Champion’s other Tennesee friend, Darrell Haden, wrote a note giving Douglas Holt permission to make a tape of “All the Late News from the Courthouse,” for an interested Champion.  Mr. Holt had e-mailed that he just happened to have the record of Professor Haden’s song that he would share with permission.  Darrell writes, “I remember when Douglas Holt was a young man growing up on Springcreek.  I knew and appreciated him, his father and grandfather.  Doug is a cousin of Douglas County’s most famous old fiddler, Bob Holt.  Bob and I went to grade school together at Silver Shade in the late 1930’s.”  So it was Darrell Haden and Doug Holt who went to school over at Silver Shade.  It must have been a great school, because those guys seem to have turned out pretty well.

        Sharing music is a Champion thing to do.  Singing helps the immune system to fight off disease and depression.  Report favorite uplifting, light hearted sunny side songs to Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367, Norwood, MO 65717.  List good reasons not to be sad at Champion News.  Have some Cheetos and purple grape juice at Henson’s Store on the North Side of the Square in the midst of the garden spot of Douglas County where Champions are always looking on the bright side!

CHAMPION—May 18, 2008

        All of Champion is delighted to see Wilburn Hutchison recuperating on his own front porch.  He could not find a more pleasant spot to do his mending.  Louise keeps the hummingbird feeders filled and so there is constant natural excitement going on.  He can at any time cast his gaze out across the hills and fields that have been in his family for generations.  His grandfather, Sam Hutchison, homesteaded the place and it was said that they were all raised and weaned there.  The luxuriant growth resulting from the very wet spring is lush indeed.  The hope is that Wilburn will just enjoy the temporal beauty and not fret about work that needs doing.  That work will always need doing and there will still be plenty of it to do when he is back up to snuff.

        Finally the soil has begun to warm up in Champion.  The danger of a hard frost is surely past and gardens are going in all over the place.  Linda’s Almanac from over at the Plant Place in Norwood says that the 22^nd and 23^rd will be poor days to plant, but late beets, potatoes, onions, carrots and other root crops could go in on the 24^th and 25^th.  There are lots of potatoes up already and looking good.  Certainly this year looks favorable for the production of weeds of all sorts.  One old Champion woman likes to mulch her garden with newspapers.  She will weed out a little place and then cover it up with wet newspapers and then put the weeds pack on top of the newspapers to keep the wind from blowing them away when they dry out.  It’s a funny process and she claims to get most of her reading done out in the garden.  She just uses the black and white newspaper not wanting to put those colored chemicals into her soil.  Newspapers this time of the year are full of graduation pictures, valedictorians and engagement pictures of optimistic young couples.  It is exciting to see young folks embarking on their new lives full of hope and promise.  That their pictures will wind up mulching some old lady’s squash is of no consequence to them.  That Denlow School class picture of 1949-1950 is certainly a jewel.  No wonder the place used to be called “Upshaw!”  That one will get clipped and saved by many, no doubt.

        The picture taking of the Rose Pink Star Quilt did not come off as planned on Thursday last.  “Twern’t a fit night out fer man ner beast!”  The new plan is to meet up at Beverly’s Beauty Shop there at Plumbers Junction on Tuesday morning, May 20^th, for the photo shoot.  The Internet is a-buzz with the quilt already.  “What size is it?”  It’s a Queen sized quilt, hand pieced one winter by Esther Wrinkles and beautifully machine quilted by Ms. Faye Chaney, who has since passed away.  A photo is available on the Internet at Champion News.  Tickets are being sold in South Carolina, Texas and Kansas.  Support for the Skyline Area Volunteer Fire Department is really strong in the Champion area, but a chance to win one of Esther’s quilts is ‘coveted!’

        A chance to win the First Ripe Tomato in Champion Contest is dependant on getting started early.  Last year the rivalry was intense.  Louise claimed to have had the first ripe one, but didn’t want to share with the judging committee and besides she already had an antique blue fruit jar just like the one that was being given away as the grand prize.  It will be remembered that local artist, Donna Moskaly, took the prize, though the tomato she shared and with which she was photographed for the paper, was not her first one of the season.  Truthfully, Carol Cleveland, the daughter of Grace, had the first ripe tomato in Champion in 2007.  Since her tomatoes were on plants that she had carried over from the previous year, however, it was decided by the CTCRC (Champion Tomato Contest Rules Committee) that Ms. Cleveland would be ineligible for the prize but would certainly have the pleasure of eating ripe tomatoes when the rest of the contestants were just dreaming of them.  This year in addition to an antique blue fruit jar, the winner of the contest will receive $5.00 worth of quilt tickets (6 tickets) for the coveted Rose Pink Star Quilt as well as a box each of wide mouth flats and regulars.  It is generally agreed that official Contestants need to mill around Henson’s Store somewhat in advance in order to drop hints of their expected success.  Sizing up the competition is one of the tenants of a good contest.

        Dillon and Dakota Watts will be back on the Krider farm for a few days helping out while Granddad is away on a quick trip.  School is out in Tennessee, as well, and those fellows rarely miss a chance to get back to Champion.  They are always a big help and keep the place lively with their antics and fine singing voices.  Other Champion grandchildren will be visiting for a few days.  Zoey Louise and Alexandra Jean will be spending a few days with their Grandparents.  They are up from Austin, Texas.  This will be Alex’s first time on the farm.  She is a real outside girl, though, so everyone is expecting to have a wonderful time.  They will be in Champion just in time to help out with the garden.  Zoey is a big fan of blueberries.  The Eckerts over at Dora say that their blueberries will be ready the end of the first or second week in June.  So Zoey may just have to enjoy strawberries from over at the Simpson Family Farm at Mtn. Grove instead this year.  “When this you see, think of me..”  Wonderful Foxfire Champion, Jack Ryan, said something similar to that one day toward the very end of his life.  He was on a plum tree digging expedition with someone who had grown very fond of him.  Now the plum trees they dug that day are loaded with fruit and the memories of an exceptional individual come back sweetly.  He and Gladys were married young and had an interesting life together, full of good cheer and thoughtfulness.  They were appreciators of the old days and the old ways.  The community is better off for having had them if it is somewhat lonesome for them now.

        Lonesomeness is a real theme for sad songs.  “Don’t forget me Little Darlin, when I’m growin’ old and gray!  Just a little talk before I’m going far away.  I’ll be waiting on the hillside for the day that you call, on the Sunny Side of the Mountain where the rippling waters fall.”  Now that’s lonesome, but it’s hopeful too.  For all the US Service Men and Women serving their Country in the dangerous places of the world, Champions, with Love and Gratitude, are hoping they have someone waiting on the sunny side of their mountains and that they make it home safely soon.  As for the singing, it is a proven fact that music aids digestion and singing releases those endorphins that fight disease and depression.  Of course there are some whose voices can be a little depressing to the ear of a musician.  They know who they are, but that doesn’t seem to stop their wailing.  Copies of the first song in the New Champion Song Book, “Keep on the Sunny Side,” are still available at Henson’s Store on the North side of the Square in Champion.  While the motif of the collection is light hearted, uplifting, optimistic music, if one finds some sort of cheer in a sad song he can fill his own songbook with those.

        Report interesting mulch to Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367, Norwood, MO 65717.  Brag about exceptional grandchildren there or at Champion News.  Size up the competition or release some endorphins at Henson’s Store on the Sunnyside of the Street in Delightful Downtown Champion where they are always Looking on the Bright Side!

Champion—May 12, 2008

        Mother’s Day in Champion found the place overrun with sons and daughters with their wives and husbands, and with grandchildren and great grandchildren.  They took the opportunity to celebrate the sweetness of life and the preciousness of Mother.  Sappy sentimental cards, flowers and gifts were presented and emotion filled smiles and hugs were exchanged.  It was a beautiful day.  Troy and Theo Petty were first time visitors in Champion.  They came to see their great grandmother, Ms. Eva Powell.  Ms. Esther Wrinkles also reported having had a beautiful day.  She received lots of cards and phone calls.  She went to church in Houston on Sunday with Larry and Theresa and then out for a nice lunch.  The ladies came home with big red roses and another pleasant memory.

        Champions all send their best wishes for a speedy recovery to Wilburn Hutchison who is experiencing some cardiac issues up at St. John’s in Springfield.  He was born right up the road from the Champion square and has a wealth of stories to tell about the place.  He and Louise have represented the best of Champion’s spirit for a long time and everyone is looking forward to having him home again.

        Pamplona, Spain has the Running of the Bulls every year.  Champion has the Champion Spring Trail Ride.  It came off again ‘without a hitch.’  Bud Hutchison has played a major role in its success for many years and it has been going on for a long, long time.  It was reported that there were about forty riders this year, that they took their regular route and had a good time.  Foster Wiseman was just a little surprised at how tall Jackie’s horse was when his Aunt Staci put him up there.  He is a Champion who likes to participate in everything.  Sometimes names aren’t mentioned in reporting community events for fear of leaving one out, but a resolve not to be fearful rules today and so most names will be left out!  Other riders were Danny Dry, Joe Heath, Travis Thompson and Tip Proctor who came all the way from Oregon to participate in this trail ride.  Tip Proctor is the reason any names were mentioned at all.  He is a real cowboy they say.  He grew up over in East Champion and has continued living a Champion kind of life out on the open range and on his spread in the Oregon territory.  He has been visiting for a spell they say and hanging out with that Wild Bunch over at the Junction:  Cletis and the General.  General Upshaw is the one who last year addressed his friends at the Denlow School reunion as “you thieves and thugs, scoundrels, bootleggers and bushwhackers.”  That Reunion is about to come up again and it will be interesting to hear what he has to say, if the gag order has been rescinded.  The reunion will be held on Saturday, May 24th.  There will be a program at 10:30 in the morning and lunch at 12:30.  They have decided to unveil the Civil War Soldiers Memorial plaque just after lunch.  It will contain the names of all the Civil War Soldiers who are known to be buried there and some history of the battles and skirmishes that occurred in the Denlow area.  Everyone is welcome to attend.

        A couple of old Champions have been watching old movies as a way to escape the constant barrage of bad news of modern life.  “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington” is a story about a young man who was appointed by his state’s governor to take the place of a deceased senator for the duration of his term.  The movie was made back in the forties or early fifties and depicted the greed and corruption of federal government officials in fairly clear if simple terms.  The disillusionment of this young patriot and his ultimate vindication is a heartwarming tale.  Five decades later, the situation in Washington has only compounded, but out in the sticks, out in places like Champion people remember the extraordinary history of their Nation and maintain those ideals and values that made the country great.  Among those things is Love and Gratitude to all the US Service Men and Women who serve in dangerous places around the world at the behest of their government.

        It has been reported in a number of places including the Douglas County Herald (May 13, 2007) that “singing causes the brain to release endorphins that help the immune system to fight off disease, infection and depression.”  Thursday night music is popular at the Ava Family Theatre.  Bob Moody and the Easy Goin’ Band will be playing there this week.  Thursday nights are also a great night for music at Plummer’s Junction located at the intersection of 76 Highway and 95 Highway, which is a hang out for many Champions.  It is an open mike jam session and it is always a good time.  Everyone is welcome.  By six thirty or so things really start jumping with the efforts of many talented local musicians.

        Linda’s Almanac from over at The Plant Place in Norwood says that the 12^th to the 16^th would be a good time for killing plant pests, cultivating or taking a short vacation.  The 17^th and 18^th will be an excellent time for planting corn, beans peppers and other above ground crops.  It will be a good time for sowing hay, fodder crops and grains and for planting flowers.  The 19^th through the 21^st will be good for root crops again.  Everyone will be glad to have some ‘settled weather’ for gardening.  E-mail has arrived from Betty Thomas from over at Yates.  She says, “Our garden is planted finally but parts are under water.  We set out 166 tomato plants too.”  She goes on to say, “I have read about the 8 pointed star quilt that Esther Wrinkles made and I would like to see a picture of it if possible.”  A picture of the beauty was straight way e-mailed to Betty and Esther has agreed to come up to the Thursday Night music at Plummer’s Junction to have her picture taken with the quilt for publication in the paper for the benefit of people without access to the internet.  (Some newspapers won’t publish a picture that doesn’t have people in it.)  She generally attends the Thursday musicals anyway, so this is an opportunity for everybody to get to see the quilt in person.  It will be one of the main attractions of the Skyline Area Volunteer Fire Department Picnic in August.

        Severe weather, here and abroad, earth quakes and wars and illness all go to make these days seem very tumultuous and unsettling.  Day by day, Champions count their blessings and extend themselves to help their less fortunate neighbors.  Reports of beautiful days and examples of good neighbor behavior can be sent to Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367, Norwood, MO 65717.  E-mail those things or some good garden reports to Champion News.  Release some endorphins in song on the porch at Henson’s Store on the Square in beautiful downtown Champion, where hearts are light and everyone is looking on the bright side!

CHAMPION—April 28, 2008

        Champion merry-makers expecting the May-pole to be hoisted up in the Square for a riotous celebration of the arrival of Spring instead are reminded that May Day is International Workers Day.  The celebration had its origins when the American Federation of Labor adopted the historic resolution that “eight hours shall constitute a legal day’s labor from and after May 1st, 1886”.  It was the beginning of a long and difficult struggle for the Labor Movement and Champions more than a hundred years later acknowledge being the beneficiaries of those efforts.  Country people know that a ‘man must work from sun to sun, but a woman’s work is never done.’  There have been some controversial struggles in that arena as well, but Champions generally try to stay out of other people’s business.  As Ms. Powell says, “That’s their possum.  Let them wool it.”

        In Champion a little touch of frost is just what some things need to make them sweet.  Spinach doesn’t mind, nor turnips, nor broccoli.  People with dirty hands need to ‘hold their horses’ just a little longer when it comes to planting tender things.  It is difficult, but local wisdom says that it can frost clear up until the tenth of May!  Champions have their fingers crossed that the fruit trees survive this year.  Linda’s Almanac over at the Plant Place in Norwood says that the first and second of May will be good for those late underground crops and for vine crops and setting strawberry plants.  The third and fourth will be ‘barren days,’ but then the fifth and sixth will be good for those above ground crops again.  Truck loads of manure are going from here to there and tillers are churning the soil.  “Pullin’ weeds and pickin’ stones We are made of dreams and bones Need a place to call my own ‘Cause the time is close at hand.”  That is a ‘ditty’ discovered in researching ‘apple blossom time.’  Most of the rest of the results of the search had to do with the Andrews Sisters’ song, “I’ll Be Seeing You in Apple Blossom Time.”  It is very romantic and kind of maudlin in its sentimentality.  Champions don’t mind ‘sentimental,’ but they are not much for ‘maudlin.’

        “Has J.L. come yet?” one old Champion calls out to the other.  The high point of the day for a lot of Champions is when the mail comes.  ‘J.L’ is the nickname for an unpredictable mailman.  He is always welcome (mostly) whenever he shows up.  He recently brought a note from Champion’s Tennessee friend, Darrell Haden, giving Douglas Holt permission to make a tape of “All the Late News from the Courthouse,” for an interested Champion.  Mr. Holt had e-mailed that he just happened to have the record of Professor Haden’s song that he would share with permission.  Darrell writes, “I remember when Douglas Holt was a young man growing up on Springcreek.  I knew and appreciated him, his father and grandfather.  Doug is a cousin of Douglas County’s most famous old fiddler, Bob Holt.  Bob and I went to grade school together at Silver Shade in the late 1930’s.”  Sharing music is a Champion activity.

        A message from the hyper-vigilant, critical, Champion grammarian points out an error in the use of the possessive in the sentence apologizing for the error in subject and verb agreement the previous week.  While an oversight committee is a lovely thing, fear of making an error is one of the great stumbling blocks to creativity and productivity.  Champions forge on unafraid!

        An e-mail from Kenneth Henson arrived saying that “Hovey does not remember the dirty in-side-out t-shirt story, but does remember growing up dirty and ragged!  Glad that Ruby is feeling well, tell her hi.  Growing up she was known as ‘Ole Rub.’”

        One of the request for the first song in The New Champion Songbook came from a lady in Mountain Grove who has the same last name as the street on which she lives.  Across the back of the envelope she wrote, “Remember our Service Men, Women and Freedom.”  Staff Sergeant Ronald C Blystone, 34, of Springfield, MO was killed in Iraq last week.  He was the father of three children and was on his fourth tour of service in Iraq.  Champions extend their Love and Gratitude to him and his family, joining with the rest of the Nation in doing so.

        A Wannabe Champion who hopes to gain the status by marrying a native is a good yarn spinner.  He was heard recently talking about a distant cousin of his.  This cousin several times ‘removed’ (that is to say that he is the cousin of his granddad or some such) and lives off over in Tennessee.  Jeff is the cousin’s name and he is reported to be a serious yarn spinner himself.  “When he closes one eye and starts to shaking his finger at you, you know you are going to be there for a spell.”  This fellow is very talented and has had a great exciting life full of many truck wrecks and near misses.  He is afraid of wild pigs but will go into a cave after a bear with a pistol!  The distant cousin of a man like that will be welcome in Champion!

        An old Champion music lover has just had her eyes opened!  She had long heard about a song called “When The Work’s All Done This Fall,” and thought that it would be about the futility of life and that one might be putting off important parts of living today for a time in the future that would never come, because country people know that the work is never all done.  She had never heard the song and still has not, but the words fell into her lap the other day and it turns out that it is a cowboy song. “A group of jolly cowboys discussing plans as ease…”  One of them said that he had broken his mother’s heart when he left home and though it had been many years since he had seen her, after the round up is over and before his money is all gone he’s going straight home to see his mother.  Now that is sentimental!  Old Champion mothers always love it when their children come home!

        Champion’s great friend and neighbor, Esther Wrinkles, spent the winter piecing a quilt by hand that she has offered to the Skyline Area Volunteer Fire Department for the August Picnic.  It is an extraordinary piece in rose, pink and burgundy in a traditional eight pointed star pattern.  (Many Champions just sat around the fire all winter and have nothing to show for their time except for a few extra pounds.)  Bonnie Mullins from over in Kansas e-mailed for a picture of the quilt and said, “ I am….cousin to most of Denlow and Champion people and I’ve been around the Champion Square many times, although some of my memories of Champion might make all my cousins renounce me.”  Perhaps some of those intriguing memories can be coaxed out of her!

        Zach Alexander’s grandmother, who is a real Champion, emailed what some advice about dealing with the burdens of life.  One of the things she suggested was, “Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.”

        Send May Pole pictures or requests for pictures of the Rose Pink Star Quilt or copies of “Keep on the Sunnyside,” to Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367, Norwood, MO 65717.  E-mail intriguing memories, good advice or examples of local sentimentality (nothing maudlin please) to Champion News.  Wool a possum (quietly) on the porch at Henson’s Store in downtown Champion on the north side of the square and get a copy of the first song in the New Champion Songbook.  The proprietor only has three copies left, but can get more.  All the time, more Champions are Looking on the Bright Side!

CHAMPION—April 20, 2008

        Champion is the seat of much that is beautiful and pleasant in the world.  It is full of love and sweet surprises and sadness and loss.  It is one of the microcosms of the world where every aspect of life is represented.  True, it may be heavy on the beauty, serenity, fellowship, and compassion and a little light on the pillaging and despotism, but still it is fairly representative of this part of the planet.  With food riots, famine, war and injustice rampant worldwide, Champions move eloquently through their placid days well aware of their good fortune.  They cling to their families, their friends, their guns and their religion with the comfort of the self reliant.  They are Champions.

        Planting by the signs is considered old fashioned and cumbersome by folks who are so busy they feel lucky to get a garden in anytime at all.  They are right.  Any good effort is better than none, and any honest and heartfelt effort, even applied in ignorance, can yield disproportionately to expectations by virtue of virtue.  Gardening like all aspects of life can be unpredictable.  There is always the possibility in Champion for things to turn out unexpectedly well.  Over at the Plant Place in Norwood, Linda’s Almanac says that 24^th to the 26^th will be a barren period but the 27^th and 28^th will be good for planting any root crops.  Linda’s bedding plants are looking really good and Charlene has been putting together a splendid selection of appropriate Mother’s Day gifts at decidedly low prices.  She has a good eye for appealing gifts, knowing that Mothers most appreciate the thought.

        The “signs” are subjects of more interest.  For example, people born on April 15^th, are in the astrological demarcation of Aries and are said to represent the qualities of desire, initiative, courage and action.  Personal traits of an Aries person are openness, enthusiasm and individualism.  They are outspoken, alert, quick to act and speak. They prefer to speak than listen. Arians are ambitious, with lots of drive and a strong desire to lead. They make poor followers.  Fiercely independent, they usually take the side of the underdog in any controversy.  They are champions of lost causes and losing battles. This trait is due to a strong belief in their own abilities to turn any situation around.  A certain Champion is optimistic not to be loosing a daughter, but to be gaining an Aries son-in-law!  Good hearted and industrious, he must have had an excellent upbringing.  Other people born on Tax Day are George G. Jones (not the singer) and Vivian Floyd!  Champions hope they each had a happy birthday!

        All of Champion is pleased to learn that Barbara Krider is recovering from her fall.  In geological time it happened shortly before the earthquake that occurred in their neighborhood last week and may have had a causal effect.  She allowed that the fall happened in her kitchen earlier and that both she and Harley slept right through the earthquake on Friday morning.  An aftershock later rattled dishes in an antique cupboard, but nothing was broken—neither dish nor any of Barbara’s bones.  She is back to her golf game.  She and Harley play often and she generously reports, “Oh, he is a much better golfer.”  Barbara is gracious.  Harley just bought a new club hoping for improvement in his game.

        Mary Graham has the brightest red house coat anybody might ever see!  It is a beautiful fire engine red and she was seen out in it feeding her dogs one morning.  She likes dogs and has several, but it is to be noted that she lives way out in the country with few neighbors.  (It was just a fluke that she was seen out in her pretty red house coat by a nosey passerby.)  Pam Davis, in Ava, has had dogs in the past and has enjoyed them.  She hasn’t any of her own these days but feels as if she were living in a kennel.  There seems to be no enforceable ‘barking dog’ ordinance in town and dog owners seem to be oblivious to the barking.  Someone hoping to hear a bird sing in the city limits might be disappointed.  Perhaps there will be some positive resolution.

        Not everyone in Champion has a computer and not everyone wants one.  It is nice to have the choice.  For people who have a computer and access to the internet there is a site called Faces of the Fallen:  Iraq and Afghanistan Casualties.  It is a collection of information about each US service member who has died in those places including pictures.  There is a great deal of information including the fact that 33 have died at the age of 18 years and 252 at the age of 19 years.  454 twenty year olds have died.  There have been well over four thousand casualties in all now.  Champions every one.  Love and Gratitude is the debt owed to them and their survivors by their Nation.

        Mail from last week pointed out a grammatical error of subject and verb agreement in the first sentence of last weeks Champion column and suggested “Epiphany” as a suitable name for a granddaughter.  “It is also a noble word,” says the grammarian.  It is a delight to be mailing out copies of the first song in The New Champion Songbook.  Tennessee Neighbor, Darrell Haden, has furnished a copy of this song with the words and music.  It is Keep on the Sunnyside.  Any kind of up-beat, up-lifting, sunny side kind of song that is in the ‘public domain’ will be considered for page two!  Since this is a build-it-yourself, loose leaf, three ring binder kind of songbook, music lovers can personalize their selections to their hearts’ content.  Send a self addressed, stamped envelope to Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367, Norwood, MO 65717 for a free copy of the first song in The New Champion Songbook.  E-mail those requests or interesting names for granddaughters or any other signs or pertinences to Champion News.  Pick up a copy of the song at Henson’s Store on the North Side of the Square in downtown Champion where the sun shines every day and where noble, contented hearts are ever looking on the bright side!

CHAMPION COMMUNITY NEWS—April 14, 2008

        Champions are pleased that Monday morning’s frost was not as severe as they thought it might be.  It is always a treat to have pessimism thwarted.  Lilacs in low lying places may yet bloom and the late dogwoods will still be a delight to the eye.

        Raymond and Esther Howard were in Champion over the week end last week, so the place was quite jolly.  Raymond is not willing to jump the gun on squirrel season, but he’s looking forward to it.  Esther was full of her lovely smiles and remarked about how well she feels!  (What a good example that is—thinking about the things that feel good!)  Jack and Wilma Herman were also visiting and that is a rare and pleasant treat.  They are not milking any more but staying busy the way country people do, which is exactly as busy as a person wants to be.  Kalyssa and Foster had a busy week on their grandparents’ farm, helping with the milking and keeping track of that Old Red Rooster.  Foster thinks they ought to send him “on down the road to Texas.”  It was surprise during this last week when Jack walked into that milk barn in his boots and coveralls ready to help out.  Neighbors helping neighbors is a common thing in Champion.

        Champions rarely want to air their dirty laundry.  Mostly the things flapping in the breeze on the close lines in these parts have already been washed.  Once a long time ago there was a Champion in Henson’s store by the name of Hovey.  His friend noted that Hovey had his t-shirt on inside-out and said something to him about it.  Hovey replied that he knew it was inside-out and said that the other side was dirty!

        A delightful visit with Mrs. Ruby Proctor reveals that she is feeling pretty well in spite of having had some blood pressure issues lately.  She said her sister-in-law, Virginia Andrews, had been down from Springfield and the two of them had gone to see Bertha Woods.  She said that it was a good visit and that she is looking forward to having her brothers come home for Memorial Day.  She recalled that April Fools jokes around Champion frequently involved turning over the out-houses.  She said that Edgar Henson’s out-house was turned over many times and she thought that Ile Upshaw over in Denlow was sitting in his when it was turned over.  She mentioned some who might have been involved in that prank.  Champions have good memories.

        The Skyline VFD Ladies’ Auxiliary held a meeting in Henson’s Store on Tuesday evening.  It was well attended and a number of issues were discussed.  Among them was the success of the Chili Supper back on the first of March and the preliminary plans for the Picnic which will be held the second week-end in August.  Betty Dye was elected as the new president of the organization by a unanimous vote and the group is optimistic for another good year ahead.

        Linda’s almanac from over at the Plant Place in Norwood says that the 15^th to the 19^th will be a good time to grub out weeds, briars and other plant pests.  Then the signs change and it will be time to plant root crops again from the 20^th through the 23^rd.  The 22^nd and 23^rd will also be good for cabbage, cauliflower, lettuce, kale, celery and other leafy vegetables and good for starting seed beds.

        A certain Champion wanted to make a cautionary note that the big rains in the area wash a lot of agricultural chemicals off the fields and into the streams.  There is also a lot of trash and big debris such as tree trunks and limbs that go rushing down fast moving streams with great speed and force.  It is very exciting to watch and also very dangerous.  More than one teen-age boy has been lost in the Ozarks in recent flooding.  Dirty, fast moving water is no place for little children to be playing even with a Mother’s supervision.  “A tragedy is altogether unnecessary!” chirps the old lady who claims to have become so old by being careful.

        Champion’s Tennessee friend Darrell Haden, originally from Smallette, has sent the words and music to Keep On the Sunny Side of Life.  His notes say that it was written in 1899, the words by Ada Blenkhorn and the music by J. Howard Entwhistle.  He said that it was recorded for the first time ever on May 9, 1928, in Camden, N.J. by the Victor Talking Machine Company which became RCA Victor the next year.  Because it is over a hundred years old it is in ‘the public domain,’ which means that it can be used by anyone without fear of copyright infringement.  It will be the first song in the New Champion Songbook which will be a loose-leaf build-it-yourself book—for Champions, by Champions.  Pick up a copy of the first song for free at Henson’s Store on the north side of the square in Champion or send a self-addressed-stamped envelope to the Champion Items mailbox.  This is a new project.  It replaces The Missouri Song List, which sparked a lot of interest but also quite a number of unfulfillable requests for CD’s of the music.  With the New Champion Songbook everyone can have a song in his heart!

        It has been noted that as of the first of March, 29, 320 U.S Service members have been hurt in the Iraq war.  The complete number of nonfatal casualties in Iraq according to the Department of Defense is 60,645.  This includes people who were injured in non-combat situations and 23,052 people who became ill and required medical air transport from the war zone.  Nearly 300,000 Iraq and Afghanistan veterans have already sought care from the Veterans Administration.  Many Veterans and their families struggle with paperwork and months of delay to get the help they need.  It is reported that 154,000 Veterans are homeless.  Love and Gratitude?

        A Champion home for a too short visit has added a pleasant new word to his lexicon:  ‘eudaimonia.’ It is a word of Greek origin that means ‘the distinctively human good and function.  Thought and behavior in accordance with reason.’  A dictionary also shows it as spelled ‘eudemonia’ and says that it is happiness or welfare.  In a certain philosophy it is  ‘happiness as the result of an active life governed by reason.’  This is a decidedly Champion word in that it could easily be used to name a granddaughter—Eudemonia Hickenlooper, for example with her sister Impunity.

        Cautions, pleasant words, jolly times, and good memories can be mailed to Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367, Norwood, MO 65717.  E-mail those things or uplifting sunny-side songs in the public domain to Champion News. Have some Cheetos and a soda pop on the porch of Henson’s Store in the beautiful blooming village of Champion where they are always looking on the bright side!

CHAMPION—April 13, 2008

        Champions are pleased that Monday and Tuesday mornings’ frost was not as severe as it was thought they might be.  It is always a treat to have pessimism thwarted.  Lilacs in low lying places may yet bloom and the late dogwoods will still be a delight to the eye.

        Other delights to the eye include Ms. Kalyssa Wiseman in her new Spring frock!  It is obvious that she will be an excellent singer and her big brother Foster has begun to appreciate her on many levels.  He will be a kind and loving big brother just the way his Great Uncle Russell was to his Grammy when she was a little girl.  It was a nice surprise to Kalyssa’s Mom during the week when Jack Herman came walking into the milk barn in his boots and coveralls ready to help out.  Neighbors helping neighbors is a common thing in Champion.

        Kay Talley from San Diego, CA sounds like a regular Champion.  Her letter to the editor last week was most complimentary to the Herald and really addressed the solidarity of small towns and rural communities.  It is to be hoped that this quality of life is represented well across the whole country, but naturally there is only one Champion.  When the hustle and bustle of the big towns get too much for Ms. Talley, she will always be welcome to come ‘luxuriate in this beautiful place!’

        Champion neighbors over at Fieldstone reported having had a good church meeting that wound up on Sunday with an excellent dinner.  Mrs. Ester Wrinkles was pleased to have her son Lonnie Mears and his wife Verla as overnight guests.  Larry and Theresa Wrinkles were over after church on Sunday as well and they were joined by Barbara Mather, Pauline Riley and Lois Thompson.  Barbara came up from Texas, picking up Pauline in Arkansas, so the two of them could visit with Lois.  It was a nice get-together, Esther said, with some good old reminiscing.  Esther reported that she had a nice conversation with niece Helen Ice from over around Licking, MO.  Helen subscribes to the Herald to keep up on things from this part of the world.  Hopefully she finds out what she wants to know.

        Linda’s almanac from over at the Plant Place in Norwood says that the 15^th to the 19^th will be a good time to grub out weeds, briars and other plant pests.  Then the signs change and it will be time to plant root crops again from the 20^th through the 23^rd.  The 22^nd and 23^rd will also be good for cabbage, cauliflower, lettuce, kale, celery and other leafy vegetables and good for starting seed beds.  A Texas Champion has sent a book to the Champion mail-box called People with Dirty Hands.  It is subtitled The Passion for Gardening and was written by Robin Chotzinoff.  Cowboy poet, Baxter Black really likes it.  It will be something to read while resting from the weeding!

        A certain Champion wanted to make a cautionary statement that the big rains in the area wash a lot of agricultural chemicals off the fields and into the streams.  There is also a lot of trash and big debris such as tree trunks and limbs that go rushing down fast moving streams with great speed and force.  It is very exciting to watch and very dangerous.  More than one teen-age boy has been lost in the Ozarks in recent flooding.  Dirty, fast moving water is no place for little children to be playing even with a Mother’s supervision.  “A tragedy is altogether unnecessary!” chirps the old lady who claims to have become so very old by being cheerful and careful.

        The Skyline VFD Ladies’ Auxiliary held a meeting in Henson’s Store on Tuesday evening.  It was well attended and a number of issues were discussed including the success of the Chili Supper back on the first of March and the preliminary plans for the Picnic which will be held the second week-end in August.  Betty Dye was elected as the new president of the organization by a unanimous vote and the group is optimistic for another good year ahead.

        An old Champion who enjoys history said that General George Armstrong Custer, believing that he could win at Little Big Horn, led his troupes himself.  He said that he was glad to read in the Herald that Missouri honors disabled vets and former POWs, regardless of where they live.  He was talking about the article that reported the Missouri Conservation Commission extending permit exemptions to all disabled vets and POWs as “a gesture to let them know how deeply grateful we are for their service and sacrifice.”  The complete number of nonfatal casualties in Iraq according to the Department of Defense is 60,645.  This includes people who were injured in non-combat situations and 23,052 people who became ill and required medical air transport from the war zone.  Nearly 300,000 Iraq and Afghanistan veterans have already sought care from the Veterans Administration.  Many Veterans and their families struggle with paperwork and months of delay to get the help they need.  It is reported that 154,000 Veterans are homeless.  Love and Gratitude?  Yes.

        A favorite Champion, home from great adventures for a too short visit, has added a pleasant new word to his lexicon:  ‘eudaimonia.’ Webster also shows it as spelled ‘eudaemonia’ and says that it is happiness or welfare.  In Aristotle’s philosophy it is  ‘happiness as the result of an active life governed by reason.’  This is a decidedly Champion word in that it describes a noble concept and could easily be used to name a granddaughter—Eudemonia Hickenlooper.  It is reminiscent of that Latent family with the boy, Squander T.  No one has said just what the T. stands for.  It must be Tennessee.

        It is a delight to be mailing out copies of the first song in The New Champion Songbook.  Tennessee Neighbor, Darrell Haden, has furnished a copy of this song with the words and music.  It is Keep on the Sunnyside.  Any kind of up-beat, up-lifting, sunny side kind of song that is in the ‘public domain’ will be considered for page two!  Since this is a build-it-yourself, loose leaf, three ring binder kind of songbook, music lovers can personalize their selections to their hearts’ content.  Send a self addressed, stamped envelope to Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367, Norwood, MO 65717 for a free copy of the first song in The New Champion Songbook.  E-mail those requests or interesting names for granddaughters or any other pertinences to Champion News.  Pick up a copy of the song at Henson’s Store on the North Side of the Square in downtown Champion where the sun shines every day and where noble, contented hearts luxuriate, ever looking on the bright side!

CHAMPION COMMUNITY NEWS—April 7, 2008

        There is a rumor in Champion that dogwoods are blooming!  By the time this goes to ink it may be so in a widespread way.  May Apples are up two or three inches high and mushroom hunters have begun to gather ticks already.  There is a great rivalry to claim the first and most of anything among Champions.  They can’t help it.

        All over this part of the country the forsythia is in full bloom.  There are many beautiful examples of it but perhaps none so lovely as the one in Louise and Wilburn’s front yard.  It is not as large as some, but for overall beauty it is without compare.  It is so wonderfully symmetrical and each blossom seems especially large and well formed.  The branches all spring from a center core and arch themselves upward and outward like a mellifluous gilded fountain.  The open spaces uniformly highlight the perfection of each flowered bow.  Like Louise and Wilburn, it is a Champion!

        An unprecedented amount of mail has come in regarding the word ‘potentiometer.’  One comes from Kenneth Henson who says, “I must have missed something in your April Fools jokes.  Getting to believe there is a word ‘potentiometer’ is baffling to me.  That is a very common word in the field of electrical work.  Was it a play on words and I didn’t get it?”  Another says, “The potentiometer is the gizmo that dangles down in your gas tank.  It’s got a wire on it that goes up to your gas gauge to tell you how much fuel you have.”  Electronics Wizard, Gary Proctor, says that it is a ‘variable resistor’ and some of the various applications of the device include its use in tuning the CB radio and volume control on anything that has volume to control.  Someone else chimed in about the speed control (the foot feed on the sewing machine) or light level (dimmer switches).  “As potential means what is ‘possible’ as opposed to ‘actual,’ the meter that measures that in the human being would no doubt register surprising results.  What a useful tool that could be!”  This comes from a skeptical Champion who routinely sees room for improvement in others and is ever-willing to guide them to betterment.  (There’s one in every crowd.)  Meanwhile, the dictionary says that it is “an instrument for measuring electromotive force.”  No dearth of information, nor surfeit of it, including proof, convinces the skeptic who still thinks the word is absurd.

        An e-mail has arrived from the Daughter of Grace in response to the proposed community mass dog killing.  Her resident Curmudgeon proposes a DogGone business which carries the motto ‘Have Gun~Will Travel’ and a stipulation for a discount to customers who provide their own disposal.  He is, of course, not serious but at least he is willing to put some thought to a serious problem.  Meanwhile, Mrs. Graham reports that the beautiful little hound dog has found a good home.  No sooner was she gone than another dog arrived.  This one Mrs. Graham is calling ‘Little Joe.’  He looks like a pure bread German Shepherd and is a puppy who has tripled his weight in the short time he has been at her house.  He has a beautiful black saddle and a tawny mussel—“He’s a gorgeous dog,” she says and she thinks that he will be big—“over seventy-five pounds,” she estimates, when he’s grown.  He will sit for her already, “doesn’t stay long yet,” but is an intelligent dog with a great appetite.  Anyone interested in adopting such a lovely pet can inquire for Mrs. Graham at Henson’s Store in Champion.

        “Old Mr. Johnson had troubles of his own.  He had a yellow cat that wouldn’t leave his home.”  In this song with a hundred verses or more, Mr. Johnson tries everything to get rid of the cat.  “But the cat came back.  The very next day…”  An anonymous letter written in a lovely hand arrived in the Champion Items mail box:  “Greetings to the Grandmother who isn’t sure if she likes cats or not.  Please take no offense from this letter or the quotes enclosed.  I enjoy reading your column and was amused by the Granddaughter asking  you not to strangle the frogs.”  She goes on to extol the virtues of frogs and toads and black crickets (not brown ones) and includes quite a number of famous quotes about cats.  American cartoonist, Jim Davis said, “Way down deep, we’re all motivated by the same urges.  Cats have the courage to live by them.”  Mark Twain said, “One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.”  A conversation with the Grandmother in question reveals that she is sure that she doesn’t like cats, but she is trying to set a good example.  The writer of this charming letter says that she “loves and respects all of God’s creatures.”  That is certainly a good example for all Champions.

        A soldier from Orrick is one of the latest Missourians killed in Iraq.  Staff Sergeant Jerald Whisenhunt of Orrick is one of four soldiers killed when their vehicle hit a homemade bomb in the road near Taaji.  He was 32 and had been in the Army since 2000.  He was a member of Stryker Brigade Combat team based at Schofield Barracks, Hawaii.  Champions extend Love and Gratitude to all the U.S. Service Personnel doing what their Nation requires of them.

        Deer need to be careful when crossing the road in the Champion area.  Champions love deer and don’t really go hunting them with school buses but sometimes accidents happen.  Two with one blow is not such a rarity in these parts as those who know Charlee Smith can attest, but she was using a rifle and will state that her double kill last year was a fluke.  Each of the two deer hit by the school bus on Friday last was pregnant with twins, so that is six deer with one blow—certainly a record, if a sad one.  A Champion contacted the Missouri Conservation Department to get permission to butcher the deer for his dogs and the fetal deer were discovered.  One had two bucks and the other mother carried a buck and a doe.  Sad things happen.  Fortunately no one on the school bus was injured, though they have had a life experience that none will forget.

        Linda’s almanac from over at the Plant Place in Norwood says that it will be a very advantageous time from the 12^th through the 14^th to plant any crops that bear yield above the ground. The 10^th & 11^th are poor days for planting as are the 15^th– to the 19^th.  Then the signs change and it will be time to plat root crops again.  Time certainly is flying by!  Linda’s Cole crops are really pretty and that ‘Pacman’ variety of broccoli that she grows is a proven winner even for armature gardeners.  People with dirty hands ought to see Charlene there at the Gift Corner.  She has some soap made from emu oil that gets the hands clean and leaves them soft.  One Champion said, “It’s hard to see how you can get something clean with grease!”  It takes all kinds.

        Mrs. Eva Powell, who has an excellent reputation in Champion for decorous behavior, wishes to assure her daughters-in-law in distant places that the Easter Parade of Champions did indeed happen and was indeed a lovely affair.  While she did not parade, she observed and had only good things to say about it.

        Good things, persistent things, spectacular or symmetrical things can be mailed to Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367, Norwood, MO 65717.  E-mail those things or examples of decorous behavior or flukes to Champion News.  Have some cheese-crackers and chocolate milk on the porch of Henson’s Store in the beautiful blooming berg of Champion where they are always looking on the bright side!

CHAMPION—April 6, 2008

        There is a rumor in Champion that dogwoods are blooming!  By the time this goes to ink it may be so in a widespread way.  May Apples are up two or three inches high and mushroom hunters have begun to gather ticks already.  There is a great rivalry to claim the first and most of anything among Champions.  They can’t help it.

        Raymond and Esther Howard were in Champion over the week end, so the place was quite jolly.  Raymond is not willing to jump the gun on squirrel season, but he’s looking forward to it.  Esther was full of her lovely smiles and remarked about how well she feels!  (What a good example that is—thinking about the things that feel good!)  Jack and Wilma Herman were also visiting and that is a rare and pleasant treat.  They are not milking any more but staying busy the way country people do, which is exactly as busy as a person wants to be.  Kalyssa and Foster will have a busy week on their grandparents’ farm, helping with the milking and keeping track of that Old Red Rooster.  Foster thinks they ought to send him “on down the road to Texas.”

        An unprecedented amount of mail has come in regarding the word ‘potentiometer.’  One comes from Kenneth Henson who says, “I must have missed something in your April Fools jokes.  Getting to believe there is a word ‘potentiometer’ is baffling to me.  That is a very common word in the field of electrical work.  Was it a play on words and I didn’t get it?”  Another says, “The potentiometer is the gizmo that dangles down in your gas tank.  It’s got a wire on it that goes up to your gas gauge to tell you how much fuel you have.”  Electronics Wizard, Gary Proctor, says that it is a ‘variable resistor’ and some of the various applications of the device include its use in tuning the CB radio and volume control on anything that has volume to control.  Someone else chimed in about the speed control (the foot feed on the sewing machine) or light level (dimmer switches).  “As potential means what is ‘possible’ as opposed to ‘actual,’ the meter that measures that in the human being would no doubt register surprising results.  What a useful tool that could be!”  This comes from a skeptical Champion who routinely sees room for improvement in others and is ever-willing to guide them to betterment.  (There’s one in every crowd.)  Meanwhile, the dictionary says that it is “an instrument for measuring electromotive force.”  No dearth of information, nor surfeit of it, including proof, convinces the skeptic who still thinks the word is absurd.

        Champions rarely want to air their dirty laundry.  Mostly the things flapping in the breeze on the close lines in these parts have already been washed.  Once a long time ago there was a Champion in Henson’s store by the name of Hovie.  His friend noted that Hovie had his t-shirt on inside-out and said something to him about it.  Hovie replied that he knew it was inside-out and said that the other side was dirty!

        A pleasant visit with Mrs. Ruby Proctor reveals that she is feeling pretty well in spite of having had some blood pressure issues lately.  She said her sister-in-law, Virginia Andrews, had been down from Springfield and the two of them had gone to see Bertha Woods.  She said that it was a good visit and that she is looking forward to having her brothers come home for Memorial Day.  She recalled that April Fools jokes around Champion frequently involved turning over the out-houses.  She said that Edgar Henson’s out-house was turned over many times and she thought that Ile Upshaw over in Denlow was sitting in his when it was turned over.  She mentioned some who might have been involved in that prank.  Champions have good memories.

        Linda’s almanac from over at the Plant Place in Norwood says that it will be a very advantageous time from the 12^th through the 14^th to plant any crops that bear yield above the ground.  The 10^th & 11^th are poor days for planting as are the 15^th– to the 19^th.  Then the signs change and it will be time to plant root crops again.  Time certainly is flying by!  Linda’s Cole crops are really pretty and that ‘Pacman’ variety of broccoli that she grows is a proven winner even for armature gardeners.  People with dirty hands ought to see Charlene there at the Gift Corner.  She has some soap made from emu oil that gets the hands clean and leaves them soft.  One Champion said, “It’s hard to see how you can get something clean with grease!”  It takes all kinds.

        Champion’s Tennessee friend Darrell Haden, originally from Smallette, has sent the words and music to Keep On the Sunny Side of Life.  His notes say that it was written in 1899, the words by Ada Blenkhorn and the music by J. Howard Entwhistle.  He said that it was recorded for the first time ever on May 9, 1928, in Camden, N.J. by the Victor Talking Machine Company which became RCA Victor the next year.  Because it is over a hundred years old it is in ‘the public domain,’ which means that it can be used by anyone without fear of copyright infringement.  It will be the first song in the New Champion Songbook which will be a loose-leaf build-it-yourself book—for Champions, by Champions.  Pick up a copy of the first song for free at Henson’s Store on the north side of the square in Champion or send a self-addressed-stamped envelope to the Champion Items mailbox.  This is a new project.  It replaces The Missouri Song List, which sparked a lot of interest but also quite a number of unfulfillable requests for CD’s of the music.  With the New Champion Songbook everyone can have a song in his heart!

        Rumors, absurd words, jolly times, and good memories can be mailed to Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367, Norwood, MO 65717.  E-mail those things or uplifting sunny-side songs in the public domain to Champion News.  Have some Cheetos and a soda pop on the porch of Henson’s Store in the beautiful blooming village of Champion where they are always looking on the bright side!