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CHAMPION—March 30, 2008

        In Champion the spirit of April Fool’s Day is persistent though the new breed of jokers can hardly hold a candle to the likes of Ed Henson and some of the other old timers.  The stories of marauding mules and exploding Denlow out-houses are the foundation on which much of the current humor of the area is based.  At any given moment all year Champions can be found laughing until the tears roll for some silly reason.  In these parts jesters commonly send others on ‘fool’s errands’ (looking for things that don’t exit) such as the mushroom hunt, and trying to get people to believe in ridiculous things like the word ‘potentiometer.’

        Long time Champion, Mrs. Esther Wrinkles, says that last Monday morning’s freezing temperatures constituted the ‘Easter Squall,” and that most generally there is a real cold snap around Easter.  She also remarked about the thunder in February and the resultant probability of frost in May.  She has been a little under the weather herself for the past couple of weeks and all of Champion hopes she gets to feeling much better soon.  Last year the first humming birds of the season were seen on Easter.  The earliness of the holiday this year may make the little birds seem behind schedule.  Martins are already populating some houses in the neighborhood and the jonquils and forsythia would make a foreign visitor think that Champion’s favorite color is yellow!  The favorite color here is green accented with the flower of the hour!

        Champion is part of the top 28% of the United States of America in awareness.  It was an interesting bit of information to learn that the majority of the Nation (72%!) is unaware of the fact that over four thousand US. Service Members have died in Iraq in the past five years.  Almost thirty thousand Americans are reported to have been wounded there.  Of course, the true number of wounded will probably never be known.  The number of Iraqi people estimated to have died in the past five years is in the hundreds of thousands…in the neighborhood of six hundred thousand people.  The number of wounded in that land is inestimable.  Love and Gratitude are the two words.

        Champions most often apply to the U.S. Service people who do what is asked of them by their Nation.  The great majority of the casualties come from small towns and rural areas in America, according to national news sources.  They are Champions.

        People with dirty hands are growing food already.  Little spinach and lettuce plants and radishes are popping up all over the place.  Peas will be out of the ground soon and certain persons are busy hunting mushrooms….and Finding them!  Linda’s almanac from over at the Plant Place in Norwood says that the 1st through the 3rd would be good days to harvest crops, but not good days to plant them.  The 4^th will be a very good day to plant any root crops that can be planted this time of the year and the 5^th will be good for any crops bearing yield above ground.  Both of those days will be good for planting vine crops and setting strawberry plants.  It’s nice to have Champion friends who know what they are talking about.  Linda hosted a bridge game over west of Spotted Hog on Saturday night.  The group joined with all the great cities in turning off the lights at 8 o’clock until 9 to help spotlight the need to save energy Worldwide.  Bridge by candlelight is still a wildly exciting game though that would not be apparent to any nonparticipating observer.  The players sit stock still, poker faced and, for the most part, silent while everyone plays except the dummy.  The game broke up at midnight and the friends inched their way homeward through the perilous dense fog not wondering for a moment why they play.  On this occasion the winner walked off with $.60 and the looser won $.50.  What a deal!

        Dakota and Dillon Watts from Tennessee were over helping their grandparents on the dairy farm for a few days.  Their little cousins, Foster and Alyssa, are just wild about them.  Everybody has a good time when they are around.

        An e-mail has arrived from the Daughter of Grace in response to the proposed community mass dog killing.  Her resident Curmudgeon proposes a DogGone business which carries the motto ‘Have Gun~Will Travel’ and a stipulation for a discount to customers who provide their own disposal.  He is, of course, not serious but at least he is willing to put some thought to a serious problem.  Meanwhile, Mrs. Graham reports that the beautiful little hound dog has found a good home.  No sooner was she gone than another dog arrived.  This one Mrs. Graham is calling ‘Little Joe.’  He looks like a pure breed German Shepherd and is a puppy who has tripled his weight in the short time he has been at her house.  He has a beautiful black saddle and a tawny mussel—“He’s a gorgeous dog,” she says and she thinks that he will be big—“over seventy-five pounds,” she estimates, when he’s grown.  He will sit for her already, “doesn’t stay long yet,” but is an intelligent dog with a great appetite.  Anyone interested in adopting such a lovely pet can inquire for Mrs. Graham at Henson’s Store in Champion.

        The lilac bushes are budding out.  Uncle Al, the Lonesome Plowboy, would have thought to sing, “Where the mockingbird is singing in the lilac bush.”  It was a source of some embarrassment to his now senior-citizen daughter that everything reminded him of a song which he would sing with the slightest provocation.  Now she finds herself in the habit of annoying people in that same way. “It’s spring time in the mountains and I’m full of Mountain Dew!”  Things change and sometimes they change in sweet and sentimental ways.  Some others are harder to take and it is suggested that anyone who has not been by the old Ruth and Orville Hicks place for a while should be prepared for a rude and disheartening shock.  Against the advice of wiser Champions, some are despondent over the ruin.  With no recourse, Champions are urged to let go of those hopeless feelings, of anger and despair and to focus on the persistent beauty that exists all around.  Bluebirds are home again.

        Persistent things, April Fool pranks, new business ideas, and wildly exciting things of all kinds are welcome at Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367, Norwood, MO 65717.  E-mail those things or any examples of persistent beauty to Champion News.  Be enchanted by the scenery from the porch at Henson’s Store in Historic Downtown Champion.  It’s a fine place to enjoy whatever comes into view.  Champions are always looking on the bright side!

CHAMPION—March 24, 2008

        Champion is delighted with the report of the birthday festivities held for Mrs. Minnie Snoddy at the Ava Place on Saturday.  It was her 99^th birthday and there were easily a hundred people there!  Shane and Bonnie Hutchison were there from Davenport with their three children,  Amanda, Nicole and Michael.  Rich and Joyce Turner were there also from Iowa and Louise and Wilburn Hutchison attended from Champion.  It was a beautiful party.  The tasty and gorgeous cake with pink roses was made by a dear friend from Seymour.  There was much singing and laughter.  Celebrating loved ones is a favorite pastime in Champion.

        Long time Champion, Mrs. Esther Wrinkles, says that Monday morning’s freezing temperatures constituted the ‘Easter Squall,” and that most generally there is a real cold snap around Easter.  She also remarked about the thunder in February and the resultant probability of frost in May.  She has been a little under the weather herself for the past couple of weeks and all of Champion hopes she gets to feeling much better soon.  Last year the first humming birds of the season were seen on Easter.  The earliness of the holiday this year may make the little birds seem behind schedule.  Martins are already populating some houses in the neighborhood and the jonquils and forsythia would make a foreign visitor think that Champion’s favorite color is yellow!  The favorite color here is green accented with the flower of the hour!

        Such a spectacle was the Easter Parade of Champions!  Barbara Krider with her enthusiasm and joie de vivre led off the longest and most well attended Easter Parade held in Champion in many years.  Her beautiful granddaughters, Elizabeth and Alexandria Slater, followed along in the processional with their great Aunt Rita Krider and (quite a number of ) others.  Elizabeth’s dress had a black bodice and a bright geometrical print skirt in primary colors.  She wore a beautiful butterfly pen on her left shoulder.  Alexandria chose a spring floral print dress with a turquoise bolero.  Large purple polka dots were the eye catching accent on Chante’s white sleeveless dress.  Alyssa’s frock was beige with a floral trim down the front and around the skirt.  Vivian Floyd said that she has taken many a turn around the Square in Champion over the years.  As she waved and smiled, her great affection for her girlhood home was obvious.  There were no motorized vehicles to distract from the pomp and gracious splendor of the occasion, though the parade route itself was lined with cars from both sides of Clever Creek as well as a number of distant states.  The enchanted onlookers, applauded wildly and called out words of encouragement and support to the gallant marchers.  (“Hey, Lady!  Where’d you get that hat?”)  Barbara threw candy to the crowd, being sure that Harley caught a piece in the scramble.  Rita’s sister, Ruthie, was in the press of observers, but it was not determined if she had caught any candy.  They had traveled down from Illinois together for the occasion and will have much to talk about on their return trip.  General Upshaw was conspicuously absent and the speculation is that he has as yet to recover entirely from the protracted St. Patrick’s Day revelment.  His public persona will probably not surface again until the Civil War Memorial Dedication on Memorial Day week end.  The community should be about ready by then.

        Champion is part of the top 28% of the United States of America in awareness.  It was an interesting bit of information to learn that the majority of the Nation (72%!) is unaware of the fact that over four thousand US. Service Members have died in Iraq in the past five years.  Almost thirty thousand Americans are reported to have been wounded there.  Of course, the true number of wounded will probably never be known.  The number of Iraqi people estimated to have died in the past five years is in the hundreds of thousands…in the neighborhood of six hundred thousand people.  The number of wounded in that land is inestimable.  Love and Gratitude are the two words.

        Champions most often apply to the U.S. Service people who do what is asked of them by their Nation.  The great majority of the casualties come from small towns and rural areas in America, according to national news sources.  They are Champions.

        People with dirty hands are growing food already.  Little spinach and lettuce plants and radishes are popping up all over the place.  Peas will be out of the ground soon and certain persons are busy hunting mushrooms….and Finding them!  Linda’s almanac from over at the Plant Place in Norwood says that the 28^th and 29^th would be good days to harvest crops, but not good days to plant them.  The 30^th and the 31^st will be very good days to plant any root crops that can be planted this time of the year.  It’s nice to have Champion friends who know what they are talking about.

        Dakota and Dillon Watts from Tennessee are over helping their grandparents on the dairy farm for a few more days.  Their little cousins, Foster and Alyssa, are just wild about them.  Everybody has a good time when they are around.

        No one has written or e-mailed with an alternative to the proposed community mass dog killing, but no such event has been scheduled for the foreseeable future.

        The lilac bushes are budding out.  Uncle Al, the Lonesome Plowboy, would have thought to sing, “Where the mockingbird is singing in the lilac bush.”  It was a source of some embarrassment to his now senior-citizen daughter that everything reminded him of a song which he would sing with the slightest provocation.  Now she finds herself in the habit of annoying people in that same way.  Things change and sometimes they change in sweet and sentimental ways.  Some others are harder to take and it is suggested that anyone who has not been by the old Ruth and Orville Hicks place for a while should be prepared for a rude and disheartening shock.  Against the advice of wiser Champions, some are despondent over the ruin.  With no recourse, Champions are urged to let go of those hopeless feelings, of anger and despair and to focus on the persistent beauty that exists all around.  Bluebirds are home again.

        Favorite pastimes, fashion commentary, spectacles of all kinds are welcome at Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367, Norwood, MO 65717.  E-mail those things and any pictures of the Easter Parade or examples of persistent beauty to Champion News.  “There went Peter Cotton Tale, a hoppin’ down an Ozark trail…hippity hoppity Easter’s gone again….”  It may be that Old Pete paused on the porch at Henson’s Store on the north side of the Square to enjoy the Parade.  It’s a fine place to enjoy whatever comes into view.  Champions are always looking on the bright side!

CHAMPION—March 18, 2008

        Champions all join with the Champion family of Minnie (Reed) Snoddy to congratulate her as she observes her 99^th  birthday on March 19^th.  Her party will be held at the Ava Place on the 22^nd.  Much of her family will be home for the festivities.  Families gather in times of joy and in times of sadness.  The important thing is that they gather and celebrate each other.

        The contrition and overall good behavior shown by Champion St. Patrick’s Day Paraders was just laudable!  Perhaps the tirade of the Champion Parade Committee after the shameful spectacle at the New Year’s Day Parade of Champions (2008) has done some good.  The General has taken it to heart and the business moguls of Champion will be hard put to find a single burst balloon or string of green Mardi Gras beads, sequined shamrock, or Blarney Stone.  Apparently, the stringent tone of the CPC on the matter held sway:  that with the Champion Easter Parade just around the corner no shenanigans would be tolerated by elf, gnome, or fiddler.  With a Barbara back for the occasion, it is clear that the Easter Parade will be the height of the season!  Fashion will rule!

        Spring Break is a big deal in a lot of communities.  South Padre Island off the Gulf Coast of Texas is just overrun with kids from all over the country.  The opportunity to get away from home in an unsupervised atmosphere is just too tantalizing for some to resist.  Their friends are going and they don’t want to be left out.  It is sort of like that in Champion except for the unsupervised part.  Harley and Barbara will be down from Illinois with their beautiful granddaughters, and those Tennessee boys, Dakota and Dillon, will soon be in with their folks.  That rowdy bunch from Marshfield that includes Foster, Kalyssa, Madelyn, and Chante` will be swarming all over Champion together with Eli and Emerson Rose and others.  For the next ten days it will just be bedlam and the old folks at home are so glad.  It is a delight to have such an infusion of youth and vigor in the community, even for a short while.  Champion is a bustling and vital spot on the map on a slow day, but made all the sweeter yet by these dear visitors.

        Old timers around here always tried to get their potatoes planted on St. Patrick’s Day.  This year some old Champions are confused because the almanac says that the 17^th is a ‘barren’ day and the next good time to plant root crops will be the 23^rd of the month.  It would be a matter of more concern if the old fellow had his patch worked up and ready to plant.  It’s lucky for him that the best planting time is a little way off in the distance.  Perhaps he’ll have a good harvest this year.  It has happened to some that all their good planting efforts came to naught with a hard killing freeze six weeks later!  Gardening is a gamble in Champion as elsewhere.  Linda over at the Plant Place in Norwood is busy getting tomatoes started.  She always has some good advice for gardeners to help them have a productive growing season.

        Twenty year old Arkansawyer, Michael R. Sturdivant, died in Iraq on January 22, 2008.  He is one of 3,989 U.S. Service Personnel who have perished there.  They are not “summer soldiers” or “sunshine patriots.”  They deserve the Love and Gratitude of their nation for whom they are doing what is asked of them.

        Over on Jim Bob hill,  the Grahams are having some issues with people dumping dogs.  It’s not like the Champion grandmother wrestling with her hatred of cats, these folks like dogs, but they can’t take care of all the dogs that get dumped on their road.  Mountain Grove’s Animal Control officer, Brad Loveless, says that there is no place in the area to take abandoned dogs.  The nearest Humane Society facility is in Houston, MO.  “Texas County has a good program,” he says.  “They are just getting started, but they are doing a good job.”  He also noted that there is a rescue organization in Douglas county called Bear Creek Rescue, but they just take care of horses.  He said that the woman who runs the operation did help him place some dogs one time, but that is not their focus.  Lorrie in the City Hall of Norwood says that they have a small fenced area for dogs that they pick up in town and they don’t keep them there very long, but she did not know of any place in the area where a person could dispose of a dog.  An official in the Douglas County Sheriff’s Department suggested that the dogs be transported to the Humane Society in Springfield or perhaps try to give the dogs away on the ‘tradio’ programs.  Lisa at the Douglas County Animal Hospital also said the Springfield Humane Society or the one in Branson would be the best bet.  She also had some information about the newly organized Animal Welfare League, Jr.  This group is comprised of teachers and students of Ava Schools who meet regularly and work to help raise money to assist the spay and neuter programs for area animals.  There seems to be no place for these animals.  Everyone agrees that it is a big problem in the area.  The Grahams are tenderhearted people who do not want to see these dogs suffering, but they can’t afford to take care of them.  It is also not feasible to transport these dogs great distances, though people have given them rides out to the country.

        A cranky old Champion says, “Well, we ort to just have a dawg-shoot.  We could organize the thang and advertise it and sell tickets to pay for the ammunition.”  His idea is that someone with a back hoe could dig a hole and the community could just get together and have a mass dog killing.  While the notion is absolutely absurd, it would certainly draw attention to the problem and maybe some philanthropic organization would be so appalled that they would cough up a few dollars to address the issue.  This same crank suggested alternately that a bounty could be paid for stray dogs.  “If these folks could get ten dollars for a dog someplace, they wouldn’t be dumping them out here!”  He fails to say who would pay the bounty or deal with the consequences of the ensuing raft of dog theft.  “Well, is there a law against dumping dogs?” he asks, “Is there one against shooting them?”  Champions don’t have the answer but it is certainly being thought about.  Champions do not advocate random dog killing and imagine that such an event would lead to prosecution, though it seems to be OK to let them starve to death……a conundrum.

        “The flowers of late winter and early spring occupy places in our hearts well out of proportion to their size,” writes a distant Champion friend.  She is so right.  The daffodils and crocus and emerging tulips are lifting spirits!  People are out getting their hands dirty and enjoying watching the greens become deeper in color as Spring officially begins on March 20^th!  Lilacs are swelling as are hearts with the hope that the long winter will soon be over and old creaking bones can be warmed in the sunshine.

        Blarney, conundrums and absurd notions, things that lift the spirit and swell hearts are welcome at Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367, Norwood, MO 65717.  E-mail parade pictures or commentary to Champion News.  Stop in at Henson’s Store in the Village any time.  It is on the North side of the Square and is stocked with an eclectic assortment of the finest merchandise.  Additionally, the proprietor will share the phone number of Mary Graham who has a very nice little hound dog to give away to a good home.  In Champion everyone looks on the bright side!

CHAMPION—March 17, 2008

        The contrition and overall good behavior shown by Champion St. Patrick’s Day Paraders was just laudable!  Perhaps the tirade of the Champion Parade Committee after the shameful spectacle at the New Year’s Day Parade of Champions (2008) has done some good.  The General has taken it to heart and the business moguls of Champion were hard put to find a single burst balloon or string of green Mardi Gras beads, sequined shamrock, or Blarney Stone.  Apparently, the stringent tone of the CPC on the matter held sway.  The real spectacle, however, was the Easter Parade of Champions!  Barbara Krider with her enthusiasm and jois de vive led off the longest  and most well attended Easter Parade held in Champion in many years.  Her beautiful granddaughters, Elizabeth and Alexandria Slater, followed along in the processional with their great Aunt Rita Krider and (quite a number of ) others.  Vivian Floyd said that she has taken many a turn around the Square in Champion over the years.  As she waved and smiled, her great affection for her girlhood home was obvious.  There were no motorized vehicles to distract from the pomp and gracious splendor of the occasion, though the parade route itself was lined with cars from both sides of Clever Creek as well as a number of distant states.  The enchanted onlookers, applauded wildly and called out words of encouragement and support to the gallant marchers.  Barbara threw candy to the crowd, being sure that Harley caught a piece in the scramble.  Rita’s sister, Ruthie, was in the press of observers, but it was not determined if she had caught any candy.  They had traveled down from Illinois together for the occasion and will have much to talk about on their return trip.  General Upshaw was conspicuously absent and the speculation is that he has as yet to recover entirely from the protracted St. Patrick’s Day festivities.  His public persona will probably not surface again until the Civil War Memorial Dedication on Memorial Day week end.  The community should be about ready by then.

        Spring Break is a big deal in a lot of communities.  South Padre Island off the Gulf Coast of Texas is just overrun with kids from all over the country.  The opportunity to get away from home in an unsupervised atmosphere is just too tantalizing for some to resist.  Their friends are going and they don’t want to be left out.  It is sort of like that in Champion except for the unsupervised part.  Harley and Barbara have been down from Illinois with their beautiful granddaughters, and those Tennessee boys, Dakota and Dillon, will be around for a few more days.  That rowdy bunch from Marshfield that includes Foster, Kalyssa, Madelyn, and Chante` have been swarming all over Champion together with Eli and Emerson Rose and others.  For the next week it will just be bedlam and the old folks at home are so glad.  It is a delight to have such an infusion of youth and vigor in the community, even for a short while.  Champion is a bustling and vital spot on the map on a slow day, but made all the sweeter yet by these dear visitors.

        Old timers around here always tried to get their potatoes planted on St. Patrick’s Day.  This year some old Champions were confused because the almanac said that the 17^th was a ‘barren’ day, but starting on the 23rd root crops can be planted up until the 27^th of the month.  The 28^th and 29^th will be barren days, but then the 30^th and 31^st will still be good for root crops again.  It has happened to some Champions that all their good early planting efforts came to naught with a hard killing freeze six weeks later!  Gardening is a gamble in Champion as elsewhere.  Linda over at the Plant Place in Norwood has her monthly almanac pages available at no charge.  She is busy getting tomatoes started.  She always has some good advice for gardeners to help them have a productive growing season.

        Twenty year old Arkansawyer, Michael R. Sturdivant, died in Iraq on January 22, 2008.  He is one of 3,989 U.S. Service Personnel who have perished there.  They are not “summer soldiers” or “sunshine patriots.”  They deserve the Love and Gratitude of their nation for whom they are doing what is asked of them.

        Over on Jim Bob hill, the Grahams are having some issues with people dumping dogs.  It’s not like the Champion grandmother wrestling with her hatred of cats, these folks like dogs, but they can’t take care of all the dogs that get dumped on their road.  Mountain Grove’s Animal Control officer, Brad Loveless, says that there is no place in the area to take abandoned dogs.  The nearest Humane Society facility is in Houston, MO.  “Texas County has a good program,” he says.  “They are just getting started, but they are doing a good job.”  He also noted that there is a rescue organization in Douglas county called Bear Creek Rescue, but they just take care of horses.  He said that the woman who runs the operation did help him place some dogs one time, but that is not their focus.  Lorrie in the City Hall of Norwood says that they have a small fenced area for dogs that they pick up in town and they don’t keep them there very long, but she did not know of any place in the area where a person could dispose of a dog.  An official in the Douglas County Sheriff’s Department suggested that the dogs be transported to the Humane Society in Springfield or perhaps try to give the dogs away on the ‘tradio’ programs.  Lisa at the Douglas County Animal Hospital also said the Springfield Humane Society or the one in Branson would be the best bet.  She also had some information about the newly organized Animal Welfare League, Jr.  This group is comprised of teachers and students of Ava Schools who meet regularly and work to help raise money to assist the spay and neuter programs for area animals.  There seems to be no place for these animals.  Everyone agrees that it is a big problem in the area.  The Grahams are tenderhearted people who do not want to see these dogs suffering, but they can’t afford to take care of them.  It is also not feasible to transport these dogs great distances, though people have given them rides out to the country.

        A cranky old Champion says, “Well, we ort to just have a dawg-shoot.  We could organize the thang and advertise it and sell tickets to pay for the ammunition.”  His idea is that someone with a back hoe could dig a hole and the community could just get together and have a mass dog killing.  While the notion is absolutely absurd, it would certainly draw attention to the problem and maybe some philanthropic organization would be so appalled that they would cough up a few dollars to address the issue.  This same crank suggested alternately that a bounty could be paid for stray dogs.  “If these folks could get ten dollars for a dog someplace, they wouldn’t be dumping them out here!”  He fails to say who would pay the bounty or deal with the consequences of the ensuing raft of dog theft.  “Well, is there a law against dumping dogs?” he asks, “Is there one against shooting them?”  Champions don’t have the answer but it is certainly being thought about.  Champions do not advocate random dog killing and imagine that such an event would lead to prosecution, though it seems to be OK to let them starve to death……a conundrum.

        “The flowers of late winter and early spring occupy places in our hearts well out of proportion to their size,” writes a distant Champion friend.  She is so right.  The daffodils and crocus and emerging tulips are lifting spirits!  People are out getting their hands dirty and enjoying watching the greens become deeper in color as Spring officially began on March 20^th!  Lilacs are swelling as are hearts with the hope that the long winter will soon be over and old creaking bones can be warmed in the sunshine.

        Blarney, conundrums and absurd notions, things that lift the spirit and swell hearts are welcome at Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367, Norwood, MO 65717.  E-mail parade pictures or commentary to Champion News.  Stop in at Henson’s Store in the Village any time.  It is on the North side of the Square and is stocked with an eclectic assortment of the finest merchandise.  Additionally, the proprietor will share the phone number of Mary Graham who has a very nice little hound dog to give away to a good home.  In Champion everyone looks on the bright side!

CHAMPION—March 9, 2008

        Clever Creek is still running in Champion after the last big rains.  The water is clear and knee deep across the slab over CR 237.  Used to be the water ran there year round, they say.  Things change.  A distant granddaughter hearing last week’s Champion News read aloud called to say, “Please don’t strangle the frogs!” She really likes frogs.  ‘Peepers’ were heard for the first time in Champion on Leap Day this year and that seemed quite fitting.  The grandchild may be the only one around who doesn’t like cats.  “They eat my frogs and my birds,” she says. “I hate cats!”  Her Grandmother tries to counter such strong emotions by saying that birds eat frogs.  (Great blue herons and king fishers are always happy to eat a nice juicy frog.)  And frogs eat birds!  (Over by Vera Cruz last year a resident rescued her baby ducks from a bull frog living in the spring pond.)  Truthfully, the child’s Grandmother has never been a big fan of cats either.  Lately, however, as her neighbors seem to be acquiring more cats she has found a way to make peace with the situation.  “Well,” she said,  “I could use my pellet gun and shoot them when they are messing around in my garden, but then I would just be picking a feud with my neighbors.  That’s not a good idea.  Or I could just kill the cats outright and get rid of them on the sly and my neighbors might not find out.  Or I can just look at the critters in a different way.  Now when I see them strolling through my yard like they own the place, I remember that I haven’t had to set a mouse trap this year, and the rats that have always made such a mess in the wood shed and garage are many fewer these days.”  This Champion reports that while she has never really liked cats, she likes a lot of people who do like them and out of respect for her friends she is trying to alter her attitudes.  She said, “I just got tired of being mad every time I saw one of the blamed things.  It takes a lot of effort to be aggravated about something if you can’t fix it.  Anyway some of them are kind of pretty.”  It’s not like she doesn’t have possums, coons, armadillos and skunks parading through the place at all hours of the day and night anyway.  Champions are a curious lot.

        Granddaughters are just the cat’s meow!  Madelyn Ward was in Champion over the week end.  She is Kaye and Richard Johnston’s granddaughter and she came with her grandparents and her Mom, Phoebe, and Aunt Liz to visit with Krider family sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins.  Madelyn and her friend Shante had a good time playing together, drawing pictures and enjoying a pretty day.  Shante and her mother, Sarah Michaud are frequent and welcome guests in Champion from over in the Marshfield area.

        Bailey Kiera Foulke is a brand new granddaughter!  She was born on March 9^th out in Seattle and is the granddaughter of Champion Friend Judith Parsons.  Judith lives over on the other side of Ava and will be remembered for having won the quilt that Violet Melton made for the Rita Hicks Benefit last year.  She is known by friends for many other things, all interesting and lovely.

        The benefit for Brenda and Kenny Massey was a wonderful affair!  Upwards of two hundred people crowded into the Vanzant Community building on Saturday night.  There was an excellent buffet supper and some fine music to get the evening going.  Then J.W. Collins took over.  Of all the auctioneering!  He sold the same sugar cookies four times!  They were nice looking cookies on a pretty paper plate, covered with colorful, crinkly cellophane and they brought in a lot of money for the good cause.  The house was packed and fairly rocked with good humor as neighbors gathered to help each other.  Somebody called Brenda a “giggle-box.”  She grew up over on 76 highway between Denlow and Vanzant.  She was part of the large Coffman family that still owns her grandparents log cabin.  “She grew up and married this Massey boy, and now a tree has fallen on him,” somebody else said.  This is a part of the world where neighbors talk about each other.  It is also a giving and benevolent part of the country.  If a person were to go through the Herald for the past year just to see how many benefits have been given by neighbors for each other it might be a surprise.

        More neighbor news has to do with the Denlow School.  The Reunion Planning Meeting was held on Sunday afternoon and the reunion is set for the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend.  Everyone will be welcome.  The program will be held at eleven with lunch at noon.  There will be ‘jamming’ in the afternoon at the pavilion.  On Monday of the Memorial Day week end the Civil War Memorial will be dedicated.  There will be more said about that in the future, no doubt.  Present at the meeting were Cletus Upshaw, Robert and Sharon Upshaw, Kaye Johnston, Russell Upshaw, Dean Upshaw, Kenneth Anderson and Lucille Ketchum and Faye Krider.

        Some old Champions have taken a page out of a recent DC Herald and have spent the winter “baking their shins and getting fat on hog and hominy.”  Now they’ve got up to do a little bit about the place and find that they have strained that group of muscles that comprise the ‘yankers.’  Hauling brush and pulling grapevine has fairly done them in  with no more than half a day’s work to show for it.  Spring always catches them by surprise and in poor condition.  They don’t complain overly, just let out a little groan now and again.  “Oh! my blessed yankers!”

        There was a note from a reader who said she liked seeing the quote by Thomas Paine repeated:  “These are the times that try men’s souls.  The summer soldier and sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of his country; but he that stands now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.”  Her remark was that everybody used to say “our boys” when talking about our soldiers serving across the world.  She thinks we don’t talk about them enough these days.  Her thought is that there will be many young men and women needing help and support when they get back home.  She says they are all Champions.  One of them was a 20 year old boy from St. Charles, MO.  His last name was Walker and he died this last week in Iraq.

        There are some pretty exciting tales about Homer Akers when he ran the mail route that Cletus later ran for many years.  76 Highway wasn’t paved back then and there are stories about him flying down that hill, throwing on his brakes, and sliding right past the mail boxes.  There is another story about a paratrooper from Denlow by the name of Vernon who got up to Evanston, Illinois on leave from his post in Kentucky.  He and his buddy met some pretty girls there and for some reason decided to give them fictitious names.  So Vernon became Bill and has remained so to his bride of many years.  His family still calls him Vernon and his little sisters were remarking the other day about what a nice brother he was.  One rainy day he worked out in their Mother’s smoke house all day and made them some little toy wooden telephones.  They both say they would just give anything if they still had them.  Later on when he was about grown he’d give his sisters a ride down to the gate on Saturday night and give them a nickel to open it and shut it behind him so he wouldn’t have to get out and get his dress clothes dirty.  Champions sure do reminisce well.

        Just as it was being revealed that the Champion Navy is totally fictitious, the ever nautical Rear Admiral was being called “General” by his sister!  Champions do so like to have accurate information.  He’s getting excited about the St. Patrick’s Day Parade at Champion.  He’s polishing up his four leaf clovers and will want to be Grand Marshall General McUpshaw.  On the 18^th, he’ll most likely sleep in.

        Linda’s almanac from over at the Plant Place in Norwood says not to bother planting on the 14^th and 15 because those days are ‘barren.’  The next two days will be good ones though for planting above ground crops.  People are getting their hands dirty already!

        Good days of any kind, accurate information, reasons to like cats, and tips for altering attitudes about annoying blamed things are all welcome at Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367 Norwood, MO 65717.  Any good neighbor gossip or reminisces or parade pictures  can be e-mailed to Champion News.  Catch up with all the excitement on the square at Henson’s Store where Champions are always looking on the bright side!

CHAMPION—March 4, 2008

        Somebody said that along about August Champions will be mighty glad to have one of these big frog strangling rains.  Things seem to dry up so quickly and every year seems to be different.  Daffodils and hyacinths are beginning to come up and things are greening up as fast as the snow melts.  Ms. Ethel McCallie from over in Nowata, OK writes, “My goodness! but hasn’t this been an cold miserable winter here in Oklahoma!  The trees are so broken, split and on the ground, it looks terrible, like a giant tornado had gone through.  The men are still cleaning them up, and talk like they’re running out of a place to put them.  I see they’re grinding lots of it into mulch which is good for the ground and plants, so it should be cheap and plentiful this spring in the nurseries.  I notice in the Ava paper they’d had a lot of ice and snow there too.  Maybe spring will start springing soon.  Everyone here is hoping so.”  Champions are optimistic for the same thing!

        Ms. McCallie writes and interesting and informative letter mentioning transplanted Champions Eva (Henson) Phillips now in Midway City, OK, and Vernon and Vivian Lakey, cousins of Champion Esther Wrinkles.  Vernon and his wife, Betty, live over near Bartlesville, OK and Vivian and her husband, Frank Smith, live in Elderado, AR.  “They’re all just top grade folks,” says Ms. McCallie.  She also says that she and her cousin, Darrell Haden, share an interest in family history and have some frequent and extensive phone conversations.  The lyrics to his song “All the Late News From the Courthouse” came to the Champion mail box this week and make some very interesting reading.  A resident Champion has said that those events might still be too fresh in local memories to bring it all up again.  It is being taken under advisement.

        Over in Champion there were some folks glad to know more bad weather was headed their way early in the week.  Certainly it works a hardship on some folks to have to be out in the snow and mud to get their chores done, but others used it as an opportunity to rest up from all the activities associated with the Skyline VFD chili supper.  Some ladies spent most of Monday (usually considered ‘wash day’) sitting around with their feet up.  There were lots of phone calls back and forth among them and the event was generally considered to have been a great success.  “The Bachelor Meets The Old Maid” quilt was won by Darlene Brown of Mountain Grove.  Darlene’s husband, Robert, was raised just east of Fox Creek from Champion, easily within hollering distance.  They have lived in Mountain Grove for a long time, but they keep their ties close with Champion and Skyline.  They have probably been to every picnic and chili supper and other fund raiser that the Skyline Fire Department has ever had.  The Mossberg Shotgun was won by Bernard Paul who lives a little west of Skyline.  His brother, Bob and his sister-in-law, Mary, have just moved to this area from Oregon.  They both work over at Rockbridge and Mary is quite a fabulous baker.  In addition to a cake decorated in a chocolate fire department motif, she contributed a triple decker chocolate snicker cake to the silent auction.  It brought a tidy sum and the Auxiliary is delighted to have a new member.

        Kalyssa Wiseman was in the neighborhood over the week end.  She had a good time at her first chili supper and the next day spent a good amount of time singing.  She has a lovely voice and it is obvious that she shares her brother Foster’s love of music and his talent.  She is a very good natured person, she takes after her beautiful grandmother in more that looks.  Grandparents are some of the luckiest people in Champion.

        Linda’s almanac from over at the Plant Place says that March 12,13, 16, 17 and 18 will be good days for planting above ground crops and the next good days for root crops start on the 23^rd of the month.  It might be too cold, but some Champions are just itching to get their hands dirty.  If it thunders in February, it will frost in May according to some old wives tales and some of those old wives live in Champion.  Still gardeners are anxious to get started!

        There are currently about 800 Missouri National Guard soldiers serving in Iraq.  It is cold and dangerous there and they are doing what their Country asks of them.  In 1776, Thomas Paine wrote:  “These are the times that try men’s souls.  The summer soldier and sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of his country; but he that stands now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.”

        “Keep on the Sunny Side,”  “Keep a Little Song Handy,”  “On the Sunny Side of the Mountain,”  “Sing and Be Happy”—these are a few of the uplifting, spirit raising songs that are often heard in Champion.  There is some sweetness about a sad old song sometimes, but these days some Champions are hungry for the Brighter Side.  Other Champions are just hungry for other people’s cooking.  A Champion was remarking about the upcoming change to Daylight Savings Time saying that he doesn’t understand how getting up earlier and turning on the lights saves energy.  Some people are happy about the change.

        Examples of reasons to be happy are welcome at Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367, Norwood, MO 65717.  Easy receipts for Happiness or uplifting songs can be e-mailed to Champion News or sung right out loud on the porch at Henson’s Store on the North Side of the Square where Champions are always Looking on the Bright Side!

CHAMPION—February 25, 2008

        In Champion if the Bachelor Meets the Old Maid he better hope he meets her at the Ladies’ Auxiliary Chili Supper in Skyline on Saturday, because Friday is February 29^th.  That’s Leap Day!  It falls on Friday only once in 28 years—once in a generation.  Regardless of the day of the week it is Sadie Hawkins Day!  Back in the fifth century when St. Bridget complained to St. Patrick that the ladies grew weary of waiting for the men to propose, St. Patrick allowed that the yearning females could themselves propose on Leap Day once every four years.  As late as 1258, if the man declined the proposal he could be fined a kiss, a silk dress, a pair of gloves, or who knows what?  More recently and closer to home Al Capp reprised the practice in the Lil’ Abner cartoon.  If Daisy Mae could have imposed a fine on Abner, what would it have been?  How did that work out anyway?  Did they ever get hitched?

        There is a long and complicated history concerning Leap Year.  Ancient calendars from all over the world deal with it in a variety of ways.  Some of the famous people born on Leap Day are Gioacchino Rossini was born in 1792.  He wrote the William Tell Overture—(The Lone Ranger), and The Barber of Seville—(Bugs Bunny).  Legendary saxophonist, conductor, songwriter, Jimmy Dorsey, Tommy’s Brother, was born in 1904 and Dina Shore in 1916.  There might be worse things than having a birthday only every 4 years!

        The Missouri Conservationist Magazine calls this year the Year of the Frog.  In an informative article called ‘Taking Action,’ Arleasha Mays provides a lot of information about a variety of frog species that are in jeopardy due to environmental contaminants, disease and habitat destruction.  This is a beautiful magazine, free to any Missouri resident.  Drop a post card to Circulation, P.O. Box 180, Jefferson City, MO 65102.

        Irene’s nice nephew, Larry, has loaned her a golf club to use as a cane until she is mended from her icy fall.  She was at her own mail box on that slick day and turned to dodge a fast kid on a sled.  Irene will be off the mail route for a few weeks while she heals up, but she is OK and Champions are all glad about that.

        Is the new worn off a beautiful new car once it has been used to haul cattle feed?  It has the On-Star and the super-radio and the leather, heated seats and who knows what all, and it has now hauled cattle feed.  What a deal!  Louise!  She is making her famous coconut desert that is so delicious for the Skyline Chili Supper Saturday.

        Someone wrote to say that on the YouTube there is a 1 minute 40 second video of the Coyote actually catching the Roadrunner!  It is called an historic moment and the title of the cartoon is “Coyote Road.”  Antiquated equipment rendered the cartoon unavailable to be reviewed but there were 447 comments posted about it.  They covered the wide range of emotions expected including “Now what?”

        Champions just don’t complain about the weather.  It is not a rule.  It is just the way Champions deal with things over which they have no control.  Nevertheless, it is certainly a subject of much conversation and wonderful stories of neighborliness.  Old Champion and good neighbor Tom Alsup many times pulled Mrs. Powell out of mud holes and cut downed trees out of the road.  Stories of deep creeks and deep mud holes, deep snow and thick ice abound.  Irene’s sister over in Vanzant has the good fortune to be neighbors with R.A. Robert Upshaw.  Regardless of the stories that have circulated about him, even if some of them are true, he is a good neighbor who keeps the walkway and steps clear of ice and snow for his good neighbor.  An old Champion friend from up in Mtn. Grove, Catherine Coffman, said that use to be snow would land in November and be on the ground until near Easter!  It may not be that way these days, but last year there was winter then spring then winter again after everything had budded out.  All the peaches, apples and blueberries that Champions have enjoyed since then have been imported.  The buzzards and robins are back in profusion and waves of geese have been spotted headed North already, so Spring can hardly be far behind.  Seed catalogues are choking mail boxes and early birds are jumping guns to get their hands dirty.  Good neighbor Linda over at the Plant Place in Norwood is getting everything ready so the impatient gardeners will have what they need.  She has a good bridge lesson this week on the two club response to a bid of one no-trump.  She also has a Birthday coming up next week!

        In 1776, Thomas Paine wrote:  “These are the times that try men’s souls.  The summer soldier and sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of his country; but he that stands now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.”  It is muddy and brutally cold this time of the year in Afghanistan and Iraq.  Two hundred thirty two years later US Service Personnel are not shrinking, but are doing what is asked of them….there are a lot of Champions over there.

        There will be a lot of Champions and good neighbors getting together at Skyline on Saturday.  The weather promises to be wonderful.  The food and entertainment are always splendid at the Ladies’ Auxiliary Chili Suppers.  Chances to break out of the cold and into the fold of friends and good fun is timely!  It is always an excellent time to support the great work of the Skyline Area Volunteer Fire Department.

        Timely things and good neighbor reports are welcome at Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367, Norwood, MO 65717.  E-mail answers to the question, “Now what?” or any of those interesting if unsubstantiated rumors about Admiral Upshaw to Champion News.  Leap up on the porch at Henson’s Store in downtown Champion on Sadie Hawkins day to pop a question or to get popped by one.  Fines will be assessed by resident  Champions who are always Looking on the Bright Side!

CHAMPION—February 18, 2008

        “Just how far does Champion extend?  What is its geographical description?  Where are the Champion City limits?”  These questions were asked by a Brushyknob neighbor the other night.  Then another neighbor from over near Vera Cruz said, “Well, all the way to Iraq!”  It is a matter for speculation and currently it is thought that Champion reaches as far as do the Champions.  The name itself suggests no limitations.

        Champion and Champion friend, Darrell Haden, from over in Tennessee forwarded a letter that he had received from Mrs. Wilma Hutchison recently.  She said she keeps up with him through the Champion Items and that “My husband and I love history and I think your song [“All the Late News from the Courthouse”] has a lot of history attached to it.  We would love to have a copy of the words to that song….This would be a treasure for us to keep.”  Part of Mr. Haden’s reply to Ms. Hutchison was: “You’re very kind to connect the record’s success with local history, [State Fair Records from Nashville, circa 1972], but I heard from people in several states who were amazed that I ‘knew about our courthouse.’  I hope the topic had—or has some universality.”  Mr. Haden indicated that recordings of the song were no longer available but that he would send a copy of the lyrics to her.  Since the song was written more than 35 years ago, perhaps any of the sensitive material that caused the song to be banned on some local radio stations will now be moot.  Champions would be most interested in digging up a past controversy.  They seem ever so much more civilized and humorous than do current ones.

        Foster E. Wiseman and his sister Kalyssa Ariel have been passing time in Champion with their maternal grandparents.  Foster is not a big fan of the old red rooster, but he really likes to help his Granddad feed the cows.  Cousins Eli and Emerson Rose are expected in the neighborhood soon.  Grandparents are the truly lucky people in the world!

        Barbara sent a beautiful Valentine to her Valentine and so Harley will be headed back up north soon.  He said, “Now, don’t run over my roadrunner!”  It was suggested that if the Coyote can’t get the Roadrunner chances are he is most likely safe.  Indeed, Wile E. Coyote is a real Champion!  What makes him so and what evokes such sympathy for him is his unflagging optimism.  He is always more humiliated than harmed by his failures and knowing that he could give up his quest at any time but for his fanaticism makes him the more endearing.  Someone said that a fanatic is one who “redoubles his effort when he has forgotten his aim.”  Whether or not the Coyote has forgotten that he wanted to eat the Roadrunner, the enthusiasm and dedication with which he approaches the hunt each time is a lovely example of optimism.  Moreover, he is loyal to the Acme Corporation.  While gravity is most often his greatest enemy, he has certainly been many times betrayed by poor quality and design flaws of Acme Products.  Nevertheless, he approaches anew as if to say, “It is a poor craftsman who blames his tools!”  That there is no glory in defeating a weak opponent is not lost on Wile E.  Whether the opponent is his own ineptitude or the Roadrunner is another matter for speculation.  “Beep! Beep!”

        Bill Gates and Warren Buffet are bridge players!  They would be welcome to join a game with Linda over at the Plant Place in Norwood.  She is busy getting things transplanted and ready to go for the gardening community this spring, but she has also been teaching some bridge classes.  This week the lesson has been on the Stamen Convention in no-trump.  It’s very interesting.  It is a tool that can be used to great advantage if its intricacies are understood.  Soon she will have her monthly almanac ready for those who like to garden by the signs.

        A call from Mrs. Esther Wrinkles on Monday evening included the information that her sister, Irene Dooms had taken a spill on the ice which resulted in a serious bruise.  She and Larry were taking Irene to Springfield to the doctor on Tuesday and so she did not know if she would be able to make the Skyline VFD Ladies Auxiliary meeting at Henson’s Store in Champion that evening.  Champion good wishes go out to Ms. Dooms with hopes for a speedy recovery.  Meanwhile the Auxiliary meeting was well attended and covered all the bases that will make the March 1^st Chili Supper a success.  All the preparations for the good home cooking and for the excellent entertainment were made.  Green Valley Grass, Green Mountain Messengers, Bill Conley & Ozark String Band, Back Yard Blue Grass and another group will perform.  It promises to be a lively evening and it will be a significant benefit to the Skyline Area Volunteer Fire Department.  Fire fighters are hoping to acquire a specific kind of compressor that will work with the cascade system to refill their oxygen bottles.  This is a substantial purchase and the Auxiliary is working toward taking on a sizeable portion of it.

        As of Presidents Day 2008, three thousand nine hundred sixty-three US service people have lost their lives in Iraq.  At least 29,133 have been wounded there.  Champion’s own soldier Staff Sergeant Raul Moreno, Jr. has been out of touch for some while.  He is in Afghanistan over on the border with Pakistan.  Every day a number of internet web sites post the names of the fallen soldiers.  While it seems morbid to go looking there for a certain name sometimes the not knowing is worse.  Then, as the pictures of the young people, and some not so young, scroll by with their names and ages, their home towns and when and where they died, it seems disrespectful not to look at every one.  They each represent a family with a heartache.  Love and Gratitude is what they have coming from the Nation that has asked so much of all of them.  A great Champion friend from Rosenberg, TX, and Champion herself, known by admirers as “Queen of the World” keeps a sign on her desk that says “Gratitude is not only the greatest of all virtues, but the parent of all the others.”-Cicero

        Well, thanks to Ruby Proctor, the “Sweethearts on Parade” Parade will probably be an annual event over at Spotted Hog in the future.  Her recent revelation that Groundhog Day was in the old days celebrated on February 14^th has made it apparent that it is entirely appropriate that the parade be held there.  Champions are certainly reasonable and generous when presented with sufficient logic.  Sweethearts over in Brushyknob say their sign is still missing and one suggested that it will be a good thing to have a parade over there in Spotted Hog every so once in a while just so folks can look around for things that have gone missing.

        Report missing things or historic controversies to Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367, Norwood, MO 65717.  Describe examples of optimism and lightness of heart via e-mail at Champion News.  Stop in at Henson’s Store on the Village Green for some speculating where the reasonable and generous people of Champion are always looking on the bright side!

CHAMPION—January 28, 2008

        What Champion is so old that he cannot learn something new?  It is the mark, the very definition of a Champion that he should be willing to look at things in a new way.  That is what was behind the thinking of one who has always been such a stickler for observing the no trespassing rules connected with other people’s property.  Coon dogs and feral hogs notwithstanding, he figured a person ought to stay on his own side of the fence.  He always had.  So when he took off meandering around on a neighbors place for reasons that he thought were justified he had his eyes opened.  First of all, the place had long, long been unoccupied and it amazed him that such great hunks of beauty had been so long neglected.  Then, the realization that those very hunks will not exist next week made his heart break that he had not been willing to break the rules long years ago.  Would the impending loss then be greater or less for the knowing of the place more or less?  It doesn’t matter.  The beautiful place is being chewed up and spit out like a bad plug of Red Man at the rate of about an acre a day.  It might have been better for the old Champion had he never crossed the fence.  Still his heart soared for those moments of discovery and that can’t be discounted.  It is a conundrum.  Champion is full of them.

        A few years ago in this part of the world there was a great convergence of cicadas one summer.  The ones who emerge every year, joined the ones that emerged every five years, joining the ones that emerge every seventeen years and there may have been another batch as well.  Champions may remember that the noise in the evenings was just astounding.  It blocked out every musing that a thoughtful person might have had and was the talk of the whole area.  Someone said that it was like living in a science fiction story.  This comes to mind in connection with the Great Ground Hog Day Convergence which will occur spectacularly on Saturday this year.  The expectation of Champions for the coveted invitation to the Spotted Hog Ground Hog Day Parade is palpable.  The great fear is that it will be snowed out.  Nevertheless, the recent revelation that Ike was a Champion has sparked great interest.  It seems that he had made a raid on Spotted Hog before rendezvousing with Betsy up in Pike County.  He had forsaken the lead mines of Douglas County for the gold of the west with Betsy as his inspiration and sweetest companion.  Their journey was well documented and fraught with much hardship.  He is reported to have said “Dear old Pike County, I’ll come back to you.”  Says Betsy, “You’ll go by yourself if you do.”  The gist of it was a divorce and, having no family in Pike County, it is figured that he returned to Champion or to Spotted Hog.  Some say that his legacy is the surly attitude of disappointment that makes those folks so fractious over there.  A resident of Tar Button Road has reported that the Brushyknob sign has been missing for some while.  That brings to mind the great controversy of the Champion sign last year.  It was the subject of much discourse even to the distant reaches of Tennessee.  While blame was never actually assigned to Spotted Hog, it was generally believed that the jealousy over not having their own sign had sparked the larceny.  In any event, the Brushyknob sign is gone.  As to the Great Ground Hog Day Convergence, Charlene Dupre and Judith Parsons are both celebrating birthdays that day and it is the best part of the whole affair that they are such splendid Champion neighbors.  Happy Days, dear Ladies.  Huzza! and many happy returns to you.

        A pleasant note arrived from Champion’s friend Darrell Haden over in Tennessee relating to the World War I hero Sergeant Alvin York.  He sent a clipping from The Messenger of Union City having to do with the York Institute in Jamestown, Tennessee.  York founded the school after returning from the war with the idea of providing the children of rural Fentress County with a good education—something that had not been available to him when he was a child.  The original building is listed on the National Register of Historic Places.  It is in poor condition currently and there is a movement to restore it.  Mr. Haden said that they had attended an alumni banquet at the York Institute with a friend a few years ago.  There, they had been introduced to Sgt. York’s daughter and at Pell Mell, Tennessee, they met two of her brothers who have them a tour of their parent’s home.  He says that the York Institute is a lovely building worth the saving.

        The other evening by chance, young Specialist Todd E. Davis, age 22, of Raymore, MO, had his picture on the news on the Lehrer Report on Channel 21 TV.  That program makes it a habit to show the pictures of the fallen soldiers when their deaths are confirmed and their pictures are available.  His picture showed a full bodied, blonde healthy looking specimen of virile young manhood.  He was a real Champion and one to whom his country has a debt of Love and Gratitude.  The US Service People doing their dangerous duty around the world are worth the saving and certainly worth the acknowledgment of their Nation.

        As the fever swells for the Skyline Chili Supper someone asked about how much good these benefits do.  It happens that the benefits staged for different people in the Skyline/Champion communities have long reaching effects.  They really benefit people.  Larry and Rita Hicks were supported in dealing with some serious medical expenses in a benefit organized by Dale Melton last April.  Mrs. Violet Melton made a beautiful Rose Quilt that was raffled off to a most delighted winner.  Young Allen Melton, a fifth grader at Mountain Grove Middle School, spent some of his art class on Friday making a thank you card for Larry Hicks who was throwing a Doughnut Party for his family, friends and acquaintances this past week end.  The card said, “Thank You, Larry!  Doughnut think that we doughnut like doughnuts!”  Recently Lannie Hinote, Skyline’s inspiring eighth grade teacher was also the subject of a benefit there to help with medical expenses.  Anyone wishing to contribute to that excellent cause can still do so by contacting Helen at the Skyline School (417) 683-8458.  Skyline student, Douglas Dobbs, won the pony that was raffled off at Ms. Hinote’s benefit.  It had been donated by Buzz and Sharon Woods.  He named it “Dynamite” for reasons of his own, according to his Grandmother, and he keeps it on the farm of some nearby cousins and everyone is getting a chance to enjoy the shaggy pony.  It’s lovely.  Champions and Champion Neighbors are very interesting, diverse and giving people!  The Skyline VFD Ladies Auxiliary chili supper scheduled for the first of March will give everyone the chance to get acquainted with them and to join in the fun of giving.

        Conundrums or reports of convergences or recollections of any old ill tempered Champions named Ike can be reported to Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367, Norwood, MO 65717.  Any recollections of Sweet Betsy from Pike, any pictures of the Spotted Hog Ground Hog Day Parade or any information about the missing Brushynob sign can be e-mailed anonymously to Champion News.  Feel free to mull over the various virtues of staying on your own side of the fence versus trespassing with purpose at Henson’s Store on the public square in Champion where everyone is welcome and where Champions are ever Looking on the Bright Side!

CHAMPION – January 21, 2008

        In Champion the full moon generally falls right in the middle of the lunation which is the interval from one new moon to the next and equals to about 29 1/2 days.

        That it happens like that all over the world is of no real concern to the Lunatic Fringe in Champion which seems to be concerning itself primarily with birthdays during this time.  Some remark was made about the speed with which the full moons come around these days, this one is known as the “Wolf Moon, ” and the speed with which the years pass according to how many one has experienced.

        To the matter of Birthdays: Kyle Barker has had his first one!  Celebrating with him were his parents Tom and Deborah Barker, Skeez and Inez Parker, Gene and Nancy Barker, Robert and Sharon Upshaw, Loretta Upshaw, Elva Upshaw, Michael and Melaine Upshaw and their two children, Elva Gayman, Richard and Kaye Johnston, Carrie and Mike Stewart, Tanna, Foster and Kalyssa Wiseman, Russell and Sue Upshaw, Kenneth and Juanita Anderson and Dean Upshaw.  There was lots of visiting and games and presents.  Robert Upshaw made homemade ice cream and the family and friends that were not able to attend are sorry to have missed such a splendid party.

        More Upshaw birthday business has to do with the New Years Eve birthday of Rear Admiral Robert Upshaw!  Little wonder he was in no condition to attend the New Years Day Parade of Champions!  One of his sisters leaked that information so Champions will be ready for him next year and perhaps if they are unable to dissuade him from such raucous celebrating, they can at least join him.  There is an old guy who comes into Henson’s Store almost every day who is woefully uniformed about Champion birthdays, particularly the Upshaw birthdays.  As it turns out one of Champion’s all time favorite mailmen, Cletis Upshaw and his cousin Russell Upshaw, who attended the Kyle Barker party, were both born in 1929.  Anyone who doesn’t believe that can call Cletis or Russell for confirmation.  They, at least, know how old they are.  This fellow seems to think that he is younger than most of the people in Champion which is just completely erroneous.  He is much older than Faye (Upshaw) Krider, Kaye (Upshaw) Johnston, Carol Cleveland, Wilda Moses and Betty Thomas and certainly much older than the proprietor of Henson’s Store who shares her birthday of January 19^th with such notables as Paul Cezanne, (1839), Edgar Allan Poe (1809), Robert E. Lee (1807), Dolly Parton (1946) and Janis Joplin (1943).  This old fellow will be eligible for the Old Age Pension by the middle of the summer.  Champions already keep their eyes out in case he is on the roads.  In addition to being old, he has a heavy foot they say.

        Another Champion just invested in a GPS system.  Trying to get to Champion the other day, he wound up a couple of miles north in somebody’s driveway.  The thing said, “You have reached your destination.”  It turns out that he hadn’t reached it after all.  It is a lucky thing for him that he is familiar with the area.

         The cold weather of January is hard on the little wild critters.  Wild birds can use some bird seed in feeders on these brutal days and places where there is open unfrozen water is a real resource for them  The bobcats that had their haunts and holes and dens over on Orville’s place will have to relocate if they haven’t already.  The bats and deer and coons and turkeys will all have to find some place else to live.  Neighbors welcome them.  Even when the temperatures are colder it is easier to have a light heart on a sunny day.  Champions know that and are keeping the spirit of fun afloat no mater what the weather.  They are sure that US Service people in dangerous places all over the world have more of a challenge in keeping positive attitudes when they are far away from home and family.  Love and Gratitude is what they have coming from the Nation that asks so much of them.

        An e-mail came from the President of the Ladies Auxiliary of the Skyline Area Volunteer Fire Department.  “The guys got our gun,” she says.  “It is again a Mossberg 535 ATS with full turkey choke and fiber optic sites.  It has a 3 ½ inch chamber.  It comes with a cleaning kit and a shell carrier.”  For the past couple of years the Ladies of the Auxiliary have staged a Shoot-Out to bring attention to the gun that they include in part of their annual chili supper fund raiser.  The first year the theme for the shootout was “Blast It If It Doesn’t Work!”  On that occasion they got together and blasted a bunch of old toasters, crock pots and coffee pots.  The next year they awarded prizes for marksmanship and sportsmanship that included the “Whole Shootin Match” Award.  The amount of expended brass was phenomenal and some of the ladies made some good progress toward becoming better shots.  Some of them are ‘dead-eyes’ already and don’t need much practice.  Informal shootouts will be taking place all over the area as the weather warms up and the Ladies vie for prizes to be awarded at the March First Chili Supper.  More musicians are being booked and detailed plans are being made about the food.  Auxiliary members will be making homemade pies to go along with the hot supper.  This annual event is a high point for the area, coming during the cold part of the year when ‘cabin fever’ can be a real issue.  The Skyline Volunteer Fire Department covers an area of approximately 125 square miles.  In spite of some muddy places, the weather has been dry enough that a real fire hazard exists.  As Champions haul ashes out of their stoves they are careful to dispose of them carefully.  The wind has been known to whip up suddenly and brush and grass fires are not at all unheard of this time of the year.

        Birthday Greetings may be channeled through Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367, Norwood, MO 65717.  Reports of the antics of the Lunatic Fringe can be e-mailed to Champion News.  Fight the fever down at Henson’s Store where there is a chance to view pictures of the original quilt, “The Bachelor Meets the Old Maid,” and where there will be more information about The Gun.  Champions are well armed overall, which is part of the reason they are always Looking on the Bright Side!